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Thread: Rain and Dream

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    #1

    Rain and Dream

    Please edit it:

    It began to rain when I was in my sleeping dream, and continued pouring at noon. Anything under the skies looked whitish, wet around: streets, vehicles, trees, roadside buildings and popped up umbrellas. Apparently the rain had washed away the noise and fickleness of the city, along with dust in the air ever blowing around like gossamer fickleness.


    • Join Date: Apr 2004
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    #2

    Re: Rain and Dream

    While I was dreaming, it began to rain. It continued pouring till noon. Anything under the skies looked whitish, wet around: steet, vehicles, trees, street buildings and umbrellas that popped up like mushrooms. Apparently, the rain had washed away the noise and fickleness of the city, along with dust in the air that blows like the fickleness of the gossamer.



    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Jul 2004
    • Posts: 637
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    #3

    Thanks

    But "umbrellas that popped up like mushrooms" sounds wordy, and 'that blows like the fickleness of the gossamer" seems unrecognizable.


    • Join Date: Apr 2004
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    #4

    Re: Welcome!

    I don't talk much, dear NewHope!

  1. AintFoolin
    Guest
    #5

    Re: Welcome!

    > looked whitish, wet around

    the 'around' is a problem as it's not clear what it's referring to, maybe just 'whitish and wet'

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