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Thread: Rain and Dream

  1. #1
    NewHope is offline Senior Member
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    Default Rain and Dream

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    It began to rain when I was in my sleeping dream, and continued pouring at noon. Anything under the skies looked whitish, wet around: streets, vehicles, trees, roadside buildings and popped up umbrellas. Apparently the rain had washed away the noise and fickleness of the city, along with dust in the air ever blowing around like gossamer fickleness.

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    Default Re: Rain and Dream

    While I was dreaming, it began to rain. It continued pouring till noon. Anything under the skies looked whitish, wet around: steet, vehicles, trees, street buildings and umbrellas that popped up like mushrooms. Apparently, the rain had washed away the noise and fickleness of the city, along with dust in the air that blows like the fickleness of the gossamer.



  3. #3
    NewHope is offline Senior Member
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    But "umbrellas that popped up like mushrooms" sounds wordy, and 'that blows like the fickleness of the gossamer" seems unrecognizable.

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    Default Re: Welcome!

    I don't talk much, dear NewHope!

  5. #5
    AintFoolin Guest

    Default Re: Welcome!

    > looked whitish, wet around

    the 'around' is a problem as it's not clear what it's referring to, maybe just 'whitish and wet'

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