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  1. #1
    musicgold is offline Senior Member
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    Default organising phrases

    Hi,

    Is there any better way of organizing the phrases in the following sentence to make it less confusing?

    Also is there any thumbrule I can follow in such situations?

    In 2009, the company expects to dispose of a few non-core assets with book value in the 15-30 million range in the east London area.

    Thanks,

    MG.

  2. #2
    Charlie Bernstein is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: organising phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by musicgold View Post
    Hi,

    Is there any better way of organizing the phrases in the following sentence to make it less confusing?

    Also is there any thumbrule I can follow in such situations?

    In 2009, the company expects to dispose of a few non-core assets with book value in the 15-30 million range in the east London area.

    Thanks,

    MG.
    It's pretty good. Two things are slightly unclear:

    1: Are the assets in the east London area or is the company disposing of them in the east London area. Are the assets or the prospective buyers there?

    2: Is each asset valued in that range, or is that range the total value of all of the assets? (Because you said "value" rather than "values," it appears to be the total value, but you might change "book value in the" to "with a book value totaling in the" to make it absolutely clear.)

    [I edit copy and have tutored college writing.]

  3. #3
    musicgold is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: organising phrases

    Charlie,

    Thanks.

    Two things are slightly unclear:
    1. The assets (plants) are located in the east London area.

    2. The total book value is in
    15-30 million range.

    When I was writing the sentence, I felt that the sentence might confuse the reader, but I wanted to pack the info into one sentence. Given that, how can I improve the sentence further?

    Thanks again.


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