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  1. #1
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    Question Is This Good English?

    These are passages translated into English. Are there any out-of-place sentences? Does this sound like natural English?




    1) When Caliph Moawea stood at the door of a miller, he saw a donkey turning the millstone with a bell around its neck. He said to the Miller," What's the bell for?"."Sometimes I get tired or sleepy," the miller said," so if I don't hear the bell, I will know that the donkey stopped." Moawea said," What if the donkey did stop but shook his head to ring the bell?" The miller answered," how can I ever get a donkey of a mind similar to that of the prince?!"


    2) Food salt is essential for the nutrition of man and animals. If we abstain from having it, our bodies will weaken and we will fall ill. Salt is used to preserve meat, oil and cheese. It is extracted from sea water. Shallow reservoirs are built near the beach and filled with sea water during summer. Sun rays evaporate the water, and the salt used in food remains.


    3) Once, a Caliph sent for one of the scholars. The messenger found the scholar sitting among his books. He said," the Caliph summons you." The scholar said," Tell him I am sitting with (in the company of ) a group of sages conversing with them. When I have finished ( I am done ) I will go to him (attend ) ." When the scholar appeared before the Caliph, the latter asked about the sages he was conversing with. "They are the companions we're never bored of their talk, and benefit from their knowledge." The Caliph realized that the scholars companions were but books, so he didn't blame him for being late.


    4) Influenza increasingly spreads in some countries in winter, and it takes the form of an epidemic. A protective vaccine against this illness has been discovered. All soldiers are injected with this vaccine without exception. For it has been proven that 75% of the vaccinated do not get a cold. That is why the authorities concerned think of obliging the civilians to be inoculated, just as in the case of small pox.

    5) Damascus is divided into two neighbouring cities : the ancient city, and the modern one. The ancient part is around Bani Omaia Mosque and the Citadel. As for the modern part which the rich chose for dwelling, it extends to the east. (The underlined clause is essential, are the punctuation & position right?)



    6) Saida ( in Lebanon ) used to be a great city in ancient times. It was famous for trade, and various kinds and forms of known industries in the past. The most important industry Saida was known for was building (manufacturing) ships. This industry left its traces till today.


    7) A rabbit family once lived amidst a far forest. Everyday morning, Mama rabbit would gather her bunnies in front of the door of the den, and would say," Beware my children, and don't play faraway from here, lest a hunter should find you, and kill you like your father, or shoot you in the foot and you will limp for the rest of your lives."


    8) A clock is an instrument that shows time. It has a face with twelve numbers drawn on it. The numbers refer to hours. Between these numbers, there are small dots indicating minutes. Two hands are fixed on its face: a small hand indicating hours, and a larger one indicating minutes.


    9) Our village is very small. The inhabitants number is no more than one hundred, including men, women and children. In our village, there are no streets or roads like those of the city; rather, narrow alleys the farmers cross with their cattle. Furthermore, there are no markets like city ones, but only two stores. The first one is uncle Melham's store, in which he sells everything we need in the village: textile (soft goods?) butter, oil, candy, notebooks, pencils, medicine and saddles.




    Much Obliged.

  2. #2
    Monticello's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is This Good English?

    Hi Rosamond00,

    Your text with mark-ups and corrections follows:

    1) When Caliph Moawea stood at the door of a miller, he saw a donkey turning the millstone with a bell around its neck. He said to the Miller,(Space added here) "(Space deleted here.)What's the bell for?"(Period deleted here.) "Sometimes I get tired or sleepy," the miller said,(Space added here.) "(Space deleted here.)so if I don't hear the bell, I will know that the donkey stopped." Moawea said, "(Space deleted here.)What if the donkey did stop but shook his head to ring the bell?" The miller answered,(Space added here) "(Space deleted here.)how How can I ever get a donkey of with a mind similar to that of the prince?!"


    2) Food salt is essential for the nutrition of man and animals. If we abstain from having it, our bodies will weaken and we will fall ill. Salt is used to preserve meat, oil, and cheese. It is extracted from sea water. Shallow reservoirs are built near the beach and filled with sea water during summer. Sun rays evaporate the water, and the salt used in food remains.


    3) Once, a Caliph sent for one of the scholars. The messenger found the scholar sitting among his books. He said,"(Space deleted here.)the The Caliph summons you." The scholar said,(Space added here.) "(Space deleted here.)Tell him I am sitting with (in the company of ) a group of sages, conversing with them. When I have finished, ( I am done ) I will go to him." (attend ) When the scholar appeared before the Caliph, the latter asked about the sages he was conversing with. "They are the companions. we're We're never bored of with their talk, and benefit from their knowledge." The Caliph realized that the scholar's companions were but books, so he didn't blame him for being late.


    4) Influenza increasingly spreads in some countries in winter, and it takes the form of an epidemic. A protective vaccine against this illness has been discovered. All soldiers are injected with this vaccine without exception. For it has been proven that 75% of the vaccinated do not get a cold. That is why the authorities concerned think of obliging the it is necessary for civilians to be inoculated (as well), just as in the case of small pox.

    5) Damascus is divided into two neighbouring cities : the ancient city, and the modern one. The ancient part is around Bani Omaia Mosque and the Citadel. As for the modern part, which the rich chose for dwelling, it extends to the east. (The underlined clause is essential, are the punctuation & position right?)



    6) Saida ( in Lebanon ) used to be a great city in ancient times. It was famous for trade (Comma deleted here.) and various kinds and forms of known industries in the past. The most important industry Saida was known for was building (manufacturing) ships ship building. This industry left its traces till today.
    Traces of this industry are still found today.


    7) A rabbit family once lived amidst a far forest. Everyday morning, Mama rabbit would gather her bunnies in front of the door of the den (Comma deleted here.) and would say,(Space added here) "(Space deleted here)Beware, my children, and don't play faraway from here, lest a hunter should find you(Comma deleted here.) and kill you like your father, or shoot you in the foot and you will limp for the rest of your lives."


    8) A clock is an instrument that shows time. It has a face with twelve numbers drawn on it. The numbers refer to hours. Between these numbers, there are small dots indicating minutes. Two hands are fixed on its face: a small hand indicating hours, and a larger one indicating minutes.


    9) Our village is very small. The inhabitants number is no more than one hundred, including men, women, and children. In our village, there are no streets or roads like those of the city; rather, narrow alleys the farmers cross with their cattle. Furthermore, there are no markets like city ones, but only two stores. The first one One (of them) is uncle Melham's store, in which he sells everything we need in the village: textile (soft goods?) butter, oil, candy, notebooks, pencils, medicine, and saddles.
    Last edited by Monticello; 20-Mar-2009 at 20:23.

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