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    #1

    Post Review my argument essay

    Hello, I am looking for someone to review my argument essay an if you can point me some of the mistake I have done on it. I m looking ot get an "a" in my english class in college.
    Thank you



    Is abortion under any circumstance wrong?
    I was raised to believe abortion was wrong. There were always other options until I hear that a nine year old little girl was raped and as a result of the rapped she got pregnant. This happened in Brazil, which is a very religious country. The rapist was her step father. After finding that the nine years old girl was pregnant, the doctor advised her mother that the nine year girl had a high risk of death if deciding to give birth. The mother of the nine years old girl authorized to practice an abortion. The mother of the nine year old little girl who was a victim of a rapped and the doctors that practice the abortion to save the little girl life were excluded from the Catholic Church arguing that abortion on any circumstance is against the law of lord
    The biblical argument against abortion is a little tricky. The Bible doesn't say anything about abortion directly; I believe that is because during that time abortion was an unthinkable act. First, children are viewed as a gift or heritage from the Lord. Secondly, the scriptures state that God opens and closes the womb and is sovereign over conception. Third, childlessness was seen as a curse.
    Exodus 21:22-25 states " If men who are fighting hit a pregnant woman and she gives birth prematurely but there is no serious injury, the offender must be fined whatever the woman's husband demands and the court allows. But if there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, and bruise for bruise. "
    This verse teaches us that if a woman gives birth prematurely, but the baby is not injured, then only a fine is appropriate. However, if the child dies then the law of retaliation should be applied. In other words, killing an unborn baby would carry the same penalty as killing a born baby. A baby inside the womb has the same legal status as a baby outside the womb. If you don't believe in the bible there is also the medical argument. One argument is the definition of life and death. One set of criteria, which defines death, could also be used to define life. Death used to be defined by the cessation (stopping) of the heartbeat. A stopped heart was a clear sign of death. If the cessation of heartbeat could define death, could the onset of the heartbeat define life? The heart is formed by the 18th day in the womb. If heartbeat were used to define life, then nearly all abortions would be outlawed.
    Most of the arguments for pro-choice are: the woman is not ready to become a parent, she cannot afford the baby, she doesn't want to be a single parent, she doesn't want anyone to know she has been sexually active, she has all the children she wants, she is too young to have a child, she or the fetus have health problems but in this case she was a victim of rape or incest. I feel a woman needs to take responsibility for her actions; there are always other options out there. Why not give the baby up for adoption. There are thousands of couples in the United States who desperately want to have children but cannot due to medical reasons; they turn to adoption as a means to still have a family.
    The only reason I can see having an abortion would be if the fetus or mother were faced with medical problems and only as a last resort. If a woman has been raped or a victim of incest, she can always go through counseling if it would be too mentally challenging for her. In an extremely case of an unwanted sexual act like the raped of the little nine years old girl who was also facing medical problems I would consider abortion to be legalized. However, I consider that this should not apply to those women that practice abortion because they acted irresponsibly and brining these babes alive would ruin their life. If these women are grown enough to be sexually active, they are also grown enough to know the consequences of these acts. Killing an innocent life to make your life easy should be penalized. Also, in the case of the nine years old girl who was a victim of rapped I would argue to any religious institution that conceiving a life through an evil act is not a gift but a test of our faith. I also consider that acting irresponsibility and excluding our brothers and sister instep of supporting them would only cause more ev

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    #2

    Re: Review my argument essay

    A more traditional approach would be to use the first paragraph, the story about the nine-year-old, to launch your case come to a conclusion. Instead, you depart from it and never look back. It makes the reader wonder why you told her story at all.

    Think about your essay a a house with a foundation, a structure, and life inside. If your foundation is the story about the nine-year-old, what should the structure look like? How will you put life into it?

    Or you could think of it as a journey. Your journey starts a nine-year-old girl. Where are you going? How will you get there? How will you know you've arrived?


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    #3

    Re: Review my argument essay

    Thank you for your advise

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