This is a naration essay on a personal experience can someone check punctuation run on and comma splices. Thanks to any one who can help
Please don’t put the cat in the freezer
I can’t think of anything worse than when I have had to explain or rationalize the things my mother does to a normal person. The problem is that I find myself in that position quite often. I cannot remember a time that I didn't have to explain to someone about her crazy acts. I am certain that I have never mastered the art, to even appear convincing. I am 38 years old and have seen many different things that were said and done by this woman. With that length of exposure I should have some type of immunity to being shocked or surprised, but I don't. Then, to my surprise I realized there were actually people that existed who were completely immune and have had a lot less exposure to my mother. Maybe it's just me; maybe I think everything is strange because I was the only one that day that had thought that putting my brother's cat in the freezer was weird.
My mother has a morning routine! Mom can usually get up before the sun has even risen. She then slips on her robe and quietly walks down the stairs and into the kitchen. Once my mom is in the kitchen she begins collecting all the things she would need to satisfy her one and only addiction and that would be coffee. Once my mom makes her first pot of coffee at least three more will follow. Four pots of coffee usually is enough to get her through lunch before she will need to make more for afternoon. Once my mother gets amped up on her first pot of coffee and begins her second pot she tends to get in a chatty mood. The second part of her routine now begins. Mom now has to collect her handy dandy address book and the phone. She then chooses her victim out of her book and dials their number. I describe the person she chooses as her victim because I know whoever it is that she has chosen will be sound asleep in their beds. Just not for long. My mom is obnoxiously, relentless, and will continue ringing the phone until her victim answers the dumb thing. This particular morning I was the chosen victim again! My name was probably up next on her rotation.
Six AM in the morning at my house, I had been soundly sleeping when I started dreaming that the phone was ringing, and even though I answered the phone in my dream: it would not stop ringing. Once I realized the phone actually had been ringing I quickly answered it. On the other end of the phone was my mother. I knew it was my mother because normal people don't call other people this early in the morning just in case they are asleep. My mother had started out the conversation using her end of the world voice. When mom uses this tone of voice I find hard to determine if something really bad happened or if she discovered a painful hangnail. Both of these types of events require that my mother to use her end of the world voice.
The first thing she said to me was” Sarah died” We then sat in silence for a minute or two because I was trying to register who heck Sarah was. Whoever she was, I was pretty certain that she was probably someone who had been important to my mother only. I know I was still extremely groggy, but for the life of me I could not put the name to a face. I knew at this point I was going to have to ask her who Sarah was. I just did not want to do that because I was sure she was probably approaching stage two of her coffee buzz. Once she gets to stage two she becomes easily aggravated. The one thing that can trigger that behavior is; to ask her a question that implies that you have no clue what she is talking about.
I was in a position now that I really had no choice. I had to do it. So I asked her in a hesitant and a very sweet voice. Hoping I would get less of a blow when she replied.
I asked ”who is Sarah”? My mother replied in a short loud aggravated voice.
"She died in her sleep". Oh crap! She did not answerer me and I think she didn’t answer me because she wanted to yell at me again. I know that’s why! So once again I said
“Who is Sarah” Of course she was even snottier then the last time I asked her but this time she replied “Chuck’s cat.”
Then I was able to put everything together. I remembered my mother had been cat sitting for my brother's cat Sarah, while my brother had been in Florida for a week and the cat had apparently died in her sleep.
It was not a surprise that Sarah died because she was so old; I actually thought it was a nice and peaceful way for Sarah’s life to come to an end. She just fell asleep. My mother continued to speak.
“Don’t be mad at me o-Kay”. I did not have enough time to respond to that statement when she blurt out
“I put Sarah in the freezer”. She followed with; “don’t worry, I double bagged her”. I am totally awake now. I went from being a little sad that Sarah was gone to being completely shocked and confused! I had to excuse myself from the conversation rather than deal with this problem right now. I got up to get dressed and then walked in to the kitchen talking and mumbling to myself; why would someone do that? What kind of person would double bag a dead cat and stick the thing in the freezer. Why wouldn’t she just bury Sarah in the back yard? I know what kind of person would do that. My Mother, that’s who
I decided to pretend I never heard that. I was hoping I would not have to deal with this situation again. Well the next day, Morristown was having their citywide garage sale which is where my mom lives. My two daughters and my two nieces had planned to have a garage sale at their grandma's house in the garage. I volunteered to pick all the girls up and drive them to grandmas. I also volunteered to supervise the garage sale. We set out everything we needed for the garage sale and were ready to go. My mother is notorious for always having ice cream sandwiches. She has two freezers. She randomly sticks the ice cream in a freezer; so we have to check both freezers to see which one they are in. Karly, my niece, came outside with an ice cream sandwich and one of the other kids said hay where did you get that and my niece very casually said; they are in the big freezer next to the dead cat! I think I was more freaked out then the kids were because the other three kids just ran into the house and got their Ice-cream and came back outside with no reaction to the Popsicle kitty next to the ice cream. Why did she stick the damn cat next to the kid’s ice-cream? She knew they were coming over!
In the end of all this, I realized that I should never ignore my mother when she does something strange. I also learned my mother’s grandchildren, my children, were immune to getting freaked out by the freaky things their grandmother does. I was raised by this woman. I was with her all the time. Her grandchildren are just visitors yet have some kind of immunity from the shock and surprise that go through. I can only conclude that I think everything is weird even when it’s not. This can be the only explanation for these facts, I was the only one who got freaked out. I also made the kids go get my ice cream for me.