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  1. #1
    ramanji is offline Junior Member
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    Default Please correct the paragraph below

    Good morning everybody. How happy are you to relax and to keep aside all your work tensions last weekend?
    Coming to my side , I had a solitary Saturday glancing whatever book I found and reading whatever news I found interesting till my wife returned from Institute in the afternoon. Last Sunday, we invited one of our neighbors to lunch. It was nice to have a chat as we discussed various things .
    After having siesta, I found myself damned lazy and left out alone for an evening walk. A drizzle accompanied by a cool breeze and the smell from the wet soil brought solace to my body and soul.


  2. #2
    Monticello's Avatar
    Monticello is offline Member
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    Default Re: Please correct the paragraph below

    Quote Originally Posted by ramanji View Post
    Good morning everybody. How happy are you to relax and to keep aside all your work tensions last weekend?
    Coming to my side , I had a solitary Saturday glancing whatever book I found and reading whatever news I found interesting till my wife returned from Institute in the afternoon. Last Sunday, we invited one of our neighbors to lunch. It was nice to have a chat as we discussed various things .
    After having siesta, I found myself damned lazy and left out alone for an evening walk. A drizzle accompanied by a cool breeze and the smell from the wet soil brought solace to my body and soul.
    Hi ramanji,

    I've provided corrections and comments below:

    Good morning everybody. How happy are were you to relax last this past weekend and to keep by setting aside all your work tensions?

    Coming to my side , (I'm not quite sure what you mean by "Coming to my side" Do you mean here "When I arose?" then-) Upon arising, I had spent a solitary Saturday (morning and afternoon) glancing at whatever book I found, and reading whatever news I found interesting (It's better not to repeat "I found" here, as the repetition brings "monotony." For variety in construction, use instead -) interested me till until my wife returned from Institute (Unless you are naming a particular institute, e.g., "The Herzog Institute," the word "institute" should not be capitalized. Thus -) the institute in the afternoon. Last On Sunday, we invited one of our neighbors to lunch. It was nice to have a chat as we discussed various things(Space deleted here). (You may also wish to expand on your writing here by including some of the things you discussed that made your chat so worthwhile.)

    After having a siesta, I found myself damned lazy (Though you really may have found yourself "damn lazy" after your siesta, it doesn't read so well -- for me -- especially when comparing your writing to what comes before and after. Why not consider instead -) felt lethargic and left so went out alone for an evening walk. A drizzle accompanied by a cool breeze and the smell from the wet soil brought solace to my body and soul, invigorating me. (These last two words now resolve your former feelings of lethargy -- or "damn laziness" -- linking this sentence in thought to the previous one, and thus rounding out your writing.)
    Last edited by Monticello; 24-Mar-2009 at 02:51.

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