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  1. #1
    Alyssa is offline Newbie
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    Default newbe-german-essay-try(er)

    Hi, I am pretty insecure about my grammar and style and would appreciate any critic about the following text.

    thx in advance
    w.l.
    Alyssa

    There is a saying by one unimportant person who said: „ Sometimes you have to poop where you wanna grow food “. In this context I would like to avoid an direct estimation about the „good“ or „bad“ nature of television. Instead, I would like to express my own point of view about this matter.
    Television is the most popular media of our time and although the internet has become a quite good competitor it still dominates everything. The reason for its position may be the simplicity of use, and that information can be simplified to a minimum by picture and sound in contrast to radio and newspaper. It is also called sometimes the center of home, which is not completely wrong judging by the adjustment of furniture towards the TV-set.
    One characteristic of watching TV is that it can unnoticed kill time like nothing else. This is caused by „interest“ which let you forget time and therefore keeps you concentrated. A concept designed by nature to focus your mind on something in order to be productive and constructive with the things you do. And this is exactly the point where television is often criticized for its unproductiveness.
    A counter argument is surely education programmes, but this argument is often used by a false idea of education. The basic nature of learning is subjected to the continual repetition and, which is much more important, to the application of new learned information. This is most often not given, if for instance a documentation about nature or history has been watched.
    The News is an other argument. Unfortunately, most people are not interested in objective news at all. This assert is based on the popularity of tabloids like „Bild-Zeitung“ in Germany. It seems like the measurement of value for news is driven by a sensational factors instead of those that influence the society the most. This trend is not new especially by private channels. The Problem is that non-private channels try to keep up with the private ones - speaking for germany only. This is why I chose independent internet sources or still the newspaper like „Süddeutschezeitung“ in order to keep myself informed day by day.
    Briefly speaking: Television, with its variety of different programmes, should be tendentially seen as entertainment, because of its poorly informational use.

  2. #2
    Soup's Avatar
    Soup is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: newbe-german-essay-try(er)

    Hi Alyssa,
    Try,
    Someone once said, "Sometimes you have to poop where you wanna grow food."
    The line that follows does not explain the quotation above. You need to do that.

    In this context, I would like to avoid an direct estimation about the good or bad nature of television.

    In the next line, you mention 'the matter':

    Instead, I would like to express my own point of view about this matter.

    What does 'the matter' refer to? That is, what exactly is the topic of your essay? You need to tell the reader clearly what they are about the read. Give them the Ws: who, what, where, when, how, why.

    All the best.

  3. #3
    Alyssa is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: newbe-german-essay-try(er)

    Hi, thanks.

    The titel is a Question I forget to mention: Is TV a good thing or a bad thing?

    The saying just refers to estimations in general. From poop (tv is a bad thing) comes sometimes good.

    Do you think that it is too hard to get the point?

  4. #4
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    konungursvia is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: newbe-german-essay-try(er)

    I would say simply "Is TV good or bad?" Using the word "poop" is extremely childish, not suitable really for an argumentation essay. If you want to get poetic, you can say "From the mud grows the beautiful bud" but not poop.

  5. #5
    Alyssa is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: newbe-german-essay-try(er)

    Thank you guys a lot. But what's with the rest?

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