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  1. #1
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    Default Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    Dear teachers:

    I'm writing something important and not sure if the following sentences are correct. If convenient, please help me correct them. Thanks:)

    1.
    ....For fear that his eyes would stay on my humble clothes and move on no further.
    2.
    It must sound ridiculously bold to apply for chef in a first-class restaurant with such a humble and totally unrelated experience.
    (btw,in China, when applying for a job, it's very important to be humble. That's why the author had to write this way)

    3.
    Out of my interests in fine arts and the need to make money, I started to draw illustrations for magazines.
    The parallel structure:
    Out of my interests in ...and (out of ) the need to ...
    Is it "out of the need" correct? if not, how to rephrase it in a more English way?

    4.
    I have read books written by both domestic and overseas scientists and and thought over many major problems.
    Again, thanks for all answers in advance:)

    Respectfully,
    Birdie

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    I'll start. How about this for the first?

    I was worried that he would not see past my shabby clothes.

    2 Applying for the position of chef in a high-class restaurant without the relevant experience may seem presumptuous.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    Thanks, Tdol:)

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    May I have more answers about other unsolved sentences?? Thanks:)

  5. #5
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    3 'The need to make money' doesn't sound too good to me:

    My interest in fine arts led me to draw illlustrations for magazines on a propfessional basis. (The last part is only there to try to get the idea of money in- you can happily delete it)

    The 'out of' doesn't work here IMO and the preposition, if any, would depend on the verb used- from my interest in fine arts, I took... (etc)

    Out of the needing- You could use the gerund- needing to make mopney, I.... However, we tend not to talk like this about money in many contexts, so you could just use 'necessity' or not mention it at all.

    4 It would sound better to me if you said something like 'by scientists from many nations'.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    Thank you, Tdol:)

  7. #7
    Searching for language is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    Quote Originally Posted by VividJailbird View Post
    Dear teachers:

    I'm writing something important and not sure if the following sentences are correct. If convenient, please help me correct them. Thanks:)

    1.....For fear that his eyes would stay on my humble clothes and move on no further.

    2.It must sound ridiculously bold to apply for the position of chef in a first-class restaurant with such a humble and totally unrelated experience.

    (btw,in China, when applying for a job, it's very important to be humble. That's why the author had to write this way)

    3.

    The parallel structure: Is it "out of the need" correct? if not, how to rephrase it in a more English way?

    4. I have read books written by both domestic and overseas scientists and (and) have thought over many major problems.

    Again, thanks for all answers in advance:)

    Respectfully,
    Birdie
    I am not a teacher.

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