Results 1 to 7 of 7

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 126
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    Dear teachers:

    I'm writing something important and not sure if the following sentences are correct. If convenient, please help me correct them. Thanks:)

    1.
    ....For fear that his eyes would stay on my humble clothes and move on no further.
    2.
    It must sound ridiculously bold to apply for chef in a first-class restaurant with such a humble and totally unrelated experience.
    (btw,in China, when applying for a job, it's very important to be humble. That's why the author had to write this way)

    3.
    Out of my interests in fine arts and the need to make money, I started to draw illustrations for magazines.
    The parallel structure:
    Out of my interests in ...and (out of ) the need to ...
    Is it "out of the need" correct? if not, how to rephrase it in a more English way?

    4.
    I have read books written by both domestic and overseas scientists and and thought over many major problems.
    Again, thanks for all answers in advance:)

    Respectfully,
    Birdie

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Japan

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 44,225
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    I'll start. How about this for the first?

    I was worried that he would not see past my shabby clothes.

    2 Applying for the position of chef in a high-class restaurant without the relevant experience may seem presumptuous.


    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 126
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    Thanks, Tdol:)


    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 126
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #4

    Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    May I have more answers about other unsolved sentences?? Thanks:)

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Japan

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 44,225
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #5

    Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    3 'The need to make money' doesn't sound too good to me:

    My interest in fine arts led me to draw illlustrations for magazines on a propfessional basis. (The last part is only there to try to get the idea of money in- you can happily delete it)

    The 'out of' doesn't work here IMO and the preposition, if any, would depend on the verb used- from my interest in fine arts, I took... (etc)

    Out of the needing- You could use the gerund- needing to make mopney, I.... However, we tend not to talk like this about money in many contexts, so you could just use 'necessity' or not mention it at all.

    4 It would sound better to me if you said something like 'by scientists from many nations'.


    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 126
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #6

    Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    Thank you, Tdol:)

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Germany
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: Nov 2008
    • Posts: 1,035
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #7

    Re: Please Help Correct The Errors In These Sentences:)

    Quote Originally Posted by VividJailbird View Post
    Dear teachers:

    I'm writing something important and not sure if the following sentences are correct. If convenient, please help me correct them. Thanks:)

    1.....For fear that his eyes would stay on my humble clothes and move on no further.

    2.It must sound ridiculously bold to apply for the position of chef in a first-class restaurant with such a humble and totally unrelated experience.

    (btw,in China, when applying for a job, it's very important to be humble. That's why the author had to write this way)

    3.

    The parallel structure: Is it "out of the need" correct? if not, how to rephrase it in a more English way?

    4. I have read books written by both domestic and overseas scientists and (and) have thought over many major problems.

    Again, thanks for all answers in advance:)

    Respectfully,
    Birdie
    I am not a teacher.

Similar Threads

  1. Are my sentences correct?
    By daisyeoh@hotmail.com in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 19-Oct-2009, 15:20
  2. Are these sentences correct?
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 03-Jun-2008, 04:59
  3. Are these sentences correct?
    By Arefeh in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-Aug-2007, 12:15
  4. Are sentences correct?
    By kohyoongliat in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 29-May-2007, 11:41
  5. Please correct the sentences ...
    By sweetie_sneha in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-Apr-2007, 14:12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •