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  1. #1
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    Default Does this translation sound good in English ?

    Abu Bakr-Alrazi



    He is the father of the Arabian medicine, and the expert of medicine in Europe in the seventeenth century. Besides, many consider him the founder of modern chemistry in east and west.



    Alrazi was born in Alrai, one of Persia cities, southern Tehran in 854, and died in 932. He was known for medicine and chemistry, and mixing between them. Ebn-Annadeem said about him in his book " Alfehrest ": " Alrazi was the only and the unique one in his age, as he had the knowledge of all the ancient sciences, especially medicine". He also called him " The Arabs Galenus".



    His most well-known books are:" The Spiritual Medicine ", "Secrets in Chemistry', " Alhawy ", " Almansori ", and " The Medicine of the Poor ". At the time, there was a common saying: " Medicine was dead, however, Galenus brought it into life; medicine was separated and Alrazi gathered it together". Alrazi's books were translated into European languages, and many of Europe scholars used them in their works and studies. On top of that, his books remained as their only source till the seventeenth century.



    Alrazi treasured man's mind, and consider it as one of the greatest blessings of Allah (God ) upon human beings. For with mind, man is able to make use of nature around him, and it is mind that distinguishes man from an animal.

    P.s : I want to make sure of :


    a) The good use of grammar.



    b) The good use of punctuation.



    c) The good use of articles.




    Much obliged.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Does this translation sound good in English ?

    Abu Bakr-Alrazi

    Abu Bakr-Alrazi is the father of Arabian medicine, and an expert in seventeenth century European medicine. Furthermore, many consider him the founder of modern chemistry in the east and west.

    Alrazi was born in Alrai, one of the cities in Persia, southern Tehran in 854, and died in 932. He was known for medicine and chemistry, and mixing them. Ebn-Annadeem, in his book about him said " " Alrazi was unique in his time, as he had the knowledge of all the ancient sciences, especially medicine". He also called him " The Arabs Galenus".

    His most well-known books are:" The Spiritual Medicine ", "Secrets in Chemistry', " Alhawy ", " Almansori ", and " The Medicine of the Poor ". At the time, there was a common saying: " Medicine was dead, however, Galenus brought it into life; medicine was separated and Alrazi gathered it together". Alrazi's books have been translated into European languages, and many European scholars have used them in their work and studies. Moreover, his books remained their only source till the seventeenth century.

    Alrazi treasured man's mind, and considered it as one of the greatest blessings of Allah (God ) upon human beings. For with mind, man is able to make use of nature around him, and it is his mind that distinguishes him from an animal

    I hope this helps .

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Does this translation sound good in English ?

    My take on this:

    Alrazi was born in Alrai, one of the cities in Persia, southern Tehran in 854,
    Alrazi was born in Alrai, one of the cities of Persia, in southern Tehran in 854,...

    He was known for medicine and chemistry, and mixing them.
    He was known for medicine and chemistry, and how they complemented each other.

    ...as he had the knowledge of all the ancient sciences, especially medicine". He also called him " The Arabs Galenus".
    ...as he had the knowledge of all the ancient sciences, especially medicine". He They also called him, " The Arabs' Galenus".

    Moreover, his books remained their only source till the seventeenth century.
    Moreover, his books remained their only source resource till the seventeenth century.

    Alrazi treasured man's mind, and considered it as one of the greatest blessings of Allah (God ) upon human beings. For with mind, man is able to make use of nature around him, and it is his mind that distinguishes him from an animal
    Alrazi treasured man's mind, and considered it as one of the greatest blessings of Allah (God ) (unnecessary)upon human beings. For with mind, man is able to make use of nature around him, and it is his mind that distinguishes him from an animal other life forms.
    Last edited by David L.; 29-Mar-2009 at 15:24.

  4. #4
    LeighS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does this translation sound good in English ?

    Once again, you're absolutely right John .
    I suppose it all depends on what level of English Tasneemspring is working on. I tend to correct work at a basic level concentrating on what the student SHOULD be perfecting at that level (I mostly teach EFL to Spanish high school students- does it show? )
    Leigh

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    Default Re: Does this translation sound good in English ?

    I tend to correct work at a basic level concentrating on what the student SHOULD be perfecting at that level

    And a damn good perspective! That's a skill I lack.

    I guess I come at with (i) being aware that more advanced learners may also be following the thread, and catering for them and (ii) plain ornery 'that's not right!'

    I think you're better to err on the side of pitching to the level you see the English at - for me, I sometimes wonder if I'm not way over the threader's head!

    Don't let me and my 'orneryness' get to you. Let's just agree at times, augment at times, and complement each other at times!
    Last edited by David L.; 29-Mar-2009 at 20:40.

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