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  1. #1
    Ever Student's Avatar
    Ever Student is offline Senior Member
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    Default Would you please read my poem?

    Would you please read my poem and give your idea?

    I live in a rose cream
    In which the white grew
    I can see the beam
    Through the sitting dew

  2. #2
    Pedroski is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Would you please read my poem?

    Bit hard to understand:

    You live in a cream coloured rose, in which the white part got bigger. You can see a beam of sunlight through a drop of dew on a petal??

    Does that sum it up? Or is it much more metaphorical?
    Cream coloured rose: our world of the (unclear) five senses?
    The white: our understanding or clarity of vision?
    The beam: the light guiding you to greater understanding.
    The sitting dew: representing a guru or some such whose greater understanding can focus the complicated message in a way you can more easily grasp?
    I like it though.
    If cream is the colour of the rose, there should perhaps be a comma after rose.

  3. #3
    Ever Student's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you please read my poem?

    Hello Pedroski,

    I am very glad that you are thinking in a deep way.

    About my poem;

    All words have been used metaphorically.

    Rose cream; the colour of cream is getting white yet it's not completely white and showes "the peace but not completely" so I'd like to live peacefully

    White;the rose gets white so it showes the coloure gets completely white

    beam; after getting white (it means that, getting peaceful completely) I can feel the peaceful world completely.

    Sitting Drew; (such as a glass) I live in a bud but can feel each peace exists in the world, which is surrounding me.
    When all over the world was in peaceful, then you would feel the real peace.

    If there is any ambiguity, please let me now.
    Thanks again,
    Leila

  4. #4
    Pedroski is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Would you please read my poem?

    It's a poem, it's allowed to be ambiguous. The readers can decide how they would like to interpret it. You won't always be there to explain it!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Would you please read my poem?

    Hi,
    Yes, you are right. The way that you think is deep. I admire such this view.

    I am in a road, the road is mine
    And put my feet along this line

  6. #6
    Pedroski is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Would you please read my poem?

    The line is yang
    The breaks make ying

    Road that we're in,
    Quo vadis?

  7. #7
    Ever Student's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you please read my poem?

    Hello,

    Your poem has been compounded by Chinese expressions. I can understand the meaning of (yang and yin) but the meanng of "Ouo vadis" is not clear for me. Would you please explain it to me?

    I sent another poem titled "The Difference" to forum yesterday. I'd appreciate it if you can read it.

  8. #8
    Pedroski is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Would you please read my poem?

    Quo vadis is Latin: means whither (where to) are you going?

  9. #9
    Ever Student's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you please read my poem?

    Would you please explain more your poem?

    the road is your opinion, yes?

  10. #10
    Pedroski is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Would you please read my poem?

    The road is your path through life.
    You mentioned a line in the first part.
    Ying can be represented by an unbroken line.
    Yang by a broken line, such as we find on roads.
    Quo vadis means where are you going on this road that is your life.

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