Divide into paragraphs and try to cut it by at least a third. Cut out anything that is not directly related to the theme.
It is too long.
Business has fascinated me right from childhood. I believe my penchant for this field stems from the fact that influence of business over the people are increasing day by day all over the world. International Business is playing an important role, together with expanding globalisation.
My main motivation for studying the bachelor’s programme is the chance to study in an international environment and my ambition is to gain knowledge and expertise in order to have a successful career.