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    #1

    Smile Do I need to correct my paragraph??

    Hi, do you think that this paragraph needs any correction? Thank you

    In this chapter it is indicated that, studies of the black church writen in the 1930s and 1940s mainly focused on a) church's excessively devote and energy to social and economic problems, b) reluctancy to attack discrimination and only focusing on religious preaches, c) a poorly-educated and ill-prepared ministers to the situation, and d) overgrowing number of churches that ended in the division of the black community.However, lately studies recognize that a religious spirit was always coming up with political ideals within black churches.

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    #2

    Re: Do I need to correct my paragraph??

    Quote Originally Posted by yrmacita View Post
    Hi, do you think that this paragraph needs any correction? Thank you

    In this chapter it is indicated that, studies of the black church writen in the 1930s and 1940s mainly focused on a) church's excessively devote and energy to social and economic problems, b) reluctancy to attack discrimination and only focusing on religious preaches, c) a poorly-educated and ill-prepared ministers to the situation, and d) overgrowing number of churches that ended in the division of the black community.However, lately studies recognize that a religious spirit was always coming up with political ideals within black churches.
    Hi yrmacita,

    Edits and comments follow:

    In this chapter, it is indicated that, (The active voice is stronger here.) the author shows how studies of the black church written in the 1930s and 1940s mainly focused (Past perfect tense is called for here.) had focused primarily on four key issues: a) church's excessively devote and energy to (1) an excessive devotion toward social and economic problems; b) reluctancy to attack (2) a style of preaching that was reluctant to address the problem of discrimination; and only focusing on religious preaches,c) a (3) poorly-educated and ill-prepared ministers who were ill-prepared for the demands to the situation, of the circumstances they faced; and d) overgrowing (4) an increasing number of dissenting churches that ended in resulted in the divisions of within the black community. However, lately studies recognize that a religious spirit was always coming up with political ideals within black churches. Later studies, however, have recognized a tenacious religious spirit within the black church that continued to stir the fervor of political ideals among African-Americans.
    Last edited by Monticello; 22-Apr-2009 at 21:10.

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