Can you please provide feedback on my written essay below? I should mention that I`m preparing for IELTS exam. Any reviews are more than welcomed .THAnKs :)
Television has had a significant influence on the culture of many
societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively
or negatively affected the cultural development of your society?
Television became widespread only in the second half of last century, but the impact it had and still has is huge. Nowadays, a world without television simply can`t be imagined because it plays a significant role in most people`s life.Despite its popularity among people of all age groups it has both positive and negative influence on the cultural development of society.
A strong positive aspect of television is that information reaches faster to the public no matter where they live.This way,people are more aware of their opportunities,but also of the needs of others.Another plus is that trough media,certain campaigns are promoted, witch eventually leads to greater care for the environment,animals, poor or disabled people , to state only a few benifits.Also, by means of certain T.V programmes science and technology are being popularised.By these,more people, especially young ones, will embrace careers as scientists.This would have a great positive impact on the economy as well as for the general cultural development of society.
On the other hand, television promotes violence or anti-social behaviours trough certain movies or TV-shows.This has affected many young individuals and is reflected in the high crime rate. Unfortunately, television still creates violent people, although signs indicating for what age group certain programmes are recommended must appear on screen according to recent laws. On another note, recent research studies on large groups of people have shown that those who watched television more than three hours a day during their childhood have developed weak neuronal connection between the right and left side of the brain .This is an issue that could raise a lot of concern about the effects of television on the mental health of people.
There are a lot of positive as well as negative aspects that television had, and still has on the development of society. Personally, I think the issue is quite controversial but if we would have learned young people to tell the difference between what is good and bad for them then the positive effects had outnumbered the negative ones.
p.s : I`m really hoping to get at least a7 in my test .Do I have a chance with thAT?
Sorry, but I tend to read from the bottom up. I got through one sentence:
Personally, I think the issue is quite controversial but if we would have learned TAUGHT young people to tell the difference between what is good and bad for them then the positive effects had HAVE outnumbered the negative ones.