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  1. #1
    gzool is offline Newbie
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    Red face i need 2 faster help plz

    hi ..i need 2 help me to correct this topic because i want to know my mistakes and improve my ritting skills..so, i'm waitting ur corrects




    when I was a child I collected all my unforgettable stuffs and put them in a small wooden box. I hid this box since many years ago and forgot its place .



    one day when I cleaned my room I found my small box and I was surprised to find it in a good case . I was so eager to know Its contents and to recover my old beautiful things .



    in that box I found some of my memorials which are took me on a trip to the early years of my life. One of these memorials was my little white dress. It was a gift from my uncle who had bought it from U.S.A because of his study . it's the first dress I wore when I was born. In fact it's the best memorial for me.



    I also found my first certificate that I had got with a gift which was a beautiful toy from my kindergarten . I hung my certificate on our living room to be visual for the all. I couldn't forget that my family's happiness and their gifts for me in a small party which was included the rest of successful children in our family. I was delighted when I shown my certificate to the other because it's the first step on my scientific life.



    The last thing I had found is my picture with my cousin when we made a party and made a large cake which was took a rabbit shape . we invited our friends to that party .we played and enjoyed together. We got a enthusiastic competitions and fun time. at the end of that party we took a lot of photos as a memorial.


    However , I'm really happy and delighted to find these memorials because they represent my beautiful child hood .



    i'll be obligated fo any one will help me..

    regards..

  2. #2
    gzool is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: i need 2 faster help plz

    wher are u?

  3. #3
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: i need 2 faster help plz

    Quote Originally Posted by gzool View Post
    hi ..i need 2 help me to correct this topic because i want to know my mistakes and improve my ritting skills..so, i'm waitting ur corrects

    Red above are all mistakes.




    When I was a child I collected all my unforgettable stuffs and put them in a small wooden box. I hid this box since many years ago and forgot its place. One day when I cleaned my room I found my small box and I was surprised to find it in a good case. I was so eager to know its contents and to recover my old beautiful things .


    In that box I found some of my memorials which are took me on a trip to the early years of my life. One of these memorials was my little white dress. It was a gift from my uncle who had brought it from U.S.A because of his study . It's the first dress I wore when I was born. In fact it's the best memorial for me.



    I also found my first certificate that I had got with a gift which was a beautiful toy from my kindergarten . I hung my certificate on our living room to be visual for the all. I couldn't forget that my family's happiness and their gifts for me in a small party which was included the rest of successful children in our family. I was delighted when I shown my certificate to the other because it's the first step on my scientific life.



    The last thing I had found is my picture with my cousin when we made a party and made a large cake which was took a rabbit shape . we invited our friends to that party .we played and enjoyed together. We got a enthusiastic competitions and fun time. at the end of that party we took a lot of photos as a memorial.


    However , I'm really happy and delighted to find these memorials because they represent my beautiful child hood .



    i'll be obligated fo any one will help me.. I would be obliged if someone can help me

    regards..
    Memorials is not the right word in this context. Mementoes is a better one.

    No space in front of punctuation marks, one space following.

    First word in sentence always capitalized.

    Your writing is not too bad.

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: i need 2 faster help plz

    Quote Originally Posted by gzool View Post
    wher are u?
    Where are we - it is the weekend and we are doing things. Be patient!

  5. #5
    gzool is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: i need 2 faster help plz

    HI.. my teacher..
    How much I obliged for u ..!!
    I'll follow your instraction as well as i can..
    thanks alot .. I haven't any other words can express my thank
    thanks again..
    Last edited by gzool; 03-May-2009 at 00:46.

  6. #6
    yuzhongqqq321 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: i need 2 faster help plz

    I agree with gzool
    Last edited by Anglika; 06-May-2009 at 11:41. Reason: spam removed

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