Dear Mr. Bishop:
Thank you for your interest in our bank's Small Business Banking Service (SBBS). I certainly enjoyed the opportunity to visit with you Tuesday afternoon.
As I mentioned, SBBS is designed to meet the special banking needs of the small-business owner. We have packaged a number of popular services under the SBBS umbrella — including free regular checking account, complimentary personalized checks and a standard safe deposit box.
Enclosed is an SBBS brochure listing our services; I have
highlighted in yellow those you inquired about. And with
this brochure, I have also included several others on the bank
and its offerings.
I will call your office next week to answer any questions you may have and to discuss how United Commercial Bank can best serve you and your consulting company.
"including free regular checking account"
Don't you put "a" between "including" and "free"?
Are there any other errors?
Unless you are using American English then the second sentence should read: visit you - this is perfectly good but for some reason the Americans always say: visit with. It is clumsy in my opinion.
You do not need a hyphen between small and business.
As a matter of choice and better English, in the final sentence I would prefer: to discuss how we, at United Commercial Bank, can best....
This is a personal letter; therefore the offer should be more personal. After all, the bank is an impersonal monolith and it is the staff who provide the service.
Thanks for your interesting comment on 'visit with'. I had never thought about this before, but 'visit' and 'visit with' describe two different things in AmE.
We visited our friends at their beach house. This means we physically traveled to our friends' beach house and stayed with them for some period of time.
I was so happy to have had the chance to visit with you yesterday. This means that yesterday, regardless of our location (my house, the supermarket check-out line, a chance meeting on the street) you and I were able to take time to chat with each other.
We use just 'visit' in both cases, Petra. The rest of both sentences clearly indicate the 'type' of visit - the first is specific as to place, the second could be anywhere, but of course the 'sender' and 'receiver' know precisely where it took place.
If we take the definition you have posted, what they really mean is: I had a chance to talk to her (privately?) for a few minutes after the meeting.
Privately may or may not be included depending on the circumstances.
However, whether English or American, my answer is much more logical and clear. Visit with is clumsy. Visit her is clear. As to the reason then surely it has more to do with talking than anything else? So why say 'visit with' instead of the clear 'talk'?
Is it quite common for American English speakers to use the phrase "visit with (someone)"?
It is certainly not uncommon. To my ear, it has a somewhat 'countrified' sound. The expression includes more than simply conversing with another. It carries the notion of a relaxed dedication of time and a sincere, friendly interest in what is going on in the lives of others.
What do other AmE speakers have to add?