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  1. #1
    wlalsdl10 is offline Newbie
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    Post short essey , but important for me

    hi . everyone! could you guys correct my Essey anyone? please.



    I'd like to talk about antoine Marie Roger De Saint Exupery. He was a french pilot, poet and author. He interested in flying airplanes. And he wrote books. His most famous workm Le Petit Prince(the little prince), was written during his stay in the United states.
    I think he is the kind of person who always touch a someone's heart. So he has ability to transmit what we have inside to other people.
    Although he didn't get very strong principles. I really admire the way he impressed a person with the value of the way of life. Actually he is talented and creative. The essence of the book is contained in the famous lines utterd by the fox to the little prince. " You can see clearly only with your heart . What is truly important is invisible to the eyes." and " You become responsible forever, for what you have tamed." His lines impressed me. As a result of admiring him as great wirtter.

  2. #2
    thedaffodils's Avatar
    thedaffodils is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: short essey , but important for me

    hi . everyone! could you guys correct my Essey anyone? please.
    essay


    I'd like to talk about antoine Marie Roger De Saint Exupery. He was a french pilot, poet and author. He interested in flying airplanes.
    - French should be capitalized.
    - writer (writer means his profession; author means who wrote the article)
    - He is interested in (interested is an adjective)

    And he wrote books. His most famous workm Le Petit Prince(the little prince), was written during his stay in the United states.
    What does "workm" mean?

    I think he is the kind of person who always touch a someone's heart. So he has ability to transmit what we have inside to other people.
    I noticed you used past tense to talk about him, but you switched present tense here. Is he still alive?

    Although he didn't get very strong principles. I really admire the way he impressed a person with the value of the way of life. Actually he is talented and creative.
    ...

    I don't proofread it completely, because I am leaving soon. Hope other people can help you out.

  3. #3
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: short essey , but important for me

    Quote Originally Posted by wlalsdl10 View Post
    hi . everyone! could you guys correct my Essay, anyone? please.



    I'd like to talk about antoine Marie Roger De Saint Exupery. He was a french pilot, poet and author. He interested in flying airplanes. And he wrote books. His most famous workm Le Petit Prince(the little prince), was written during his stay in the United states.
    I think he is the kind of person who always touch a someone's heart. So he has ability to transmit what we have inside to other people.
    Although he didn't get very strong principles[ incomplete sentence]. I really admire the way he impressed a person with the value of the way of life. Actually he is talented and creative. The essence of the book is contained in the famous lines utterd by the fox to the little prince. " You can see clearly only with your heart . What is truly important is invisible to the eyes." and " You become responsible forever, for what you have tamed." His lines impressed me. As a result of admiring him as great wirtter [incomplete sentence].

    You are inconsistent in capitalization - all names should have a capital letter. Book titles need capitalization, and the characters as well.

    You are inconsistent on tense - Are you writing about a living author or a dead author?

    Your spelling is shaky - do you have a spell-check on your system? If so, then use it before posting your essays.

  4. #4
    wlalsdl10 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: short essey , but important for me

    thank you so much!!!

  5. #5
    wlalsdl10 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: short essey , but important for me

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    You are inconsistent in capitalization - all names should have a capital letter. Book titles need capitalization, and the characters as well.

    You are inconsistent on tense - Are you writing about a living author or a dead author?

    Your spelling is shaky - do you have a spell-check on your system? If so, then use it before posting your essays.
    thank you very much!

  6. #6
    Monticello's Avatar
    Monticello is offline Member
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    Default Re: short essey , but important for me

    Hi wlalsdl10,

    The subject of your essay, Antoine de Saint-Exupry, is also dear to my heart. (Please click on his bolded, blue-colored name, which is a link to a wikipedia article. Perhaps you can find a way to use some of the information in this article to extend your brief piece.) I've provided corrections and comments below:


    I'd like to talk about Antoine Marie Roger De Saint Exupery (29 June, 1900 - 31 July, 1944). He was a French pilot, poet, and author. He interested in flying airplanes. And he wrote books. In addition to his interest in aviation and flying, he was also a noted author. His most famous workm, Le Petit Prince (The Little Prince), was written during his stay in the United States. (When? - 1942.)

    I think he is the kind of person who always touches a someone's heart. (What, exactly, about Saint Exupery's writing prompts you to write this? Your essay needs to explain and tell the reader more here.) So he has ability to transmit what we have inside to other people. (Once again, what, exactly, do you mean here? Try to be as specific as you can. Examples from Le Petit Prince might help you here.) Although he didn't get very strong principles, (I'm not sure what you mean by this clause: " ... he didn't get very strong principles") I really admire the way he impressed a person with the value of the way of life. (What, exactly, do you mean here by "value of the way of life?" Please explain more for your reader.) Actually, he is talented and creative. (Perhaps here, rather than simply stating, "he is talented and creative," you can find a way to illustrate the specific talents and creativity that you admire through examples from Le Petit Prince.) The essence of the book is contained in the famous lines uttered by the fox to the little prince. " You can see clearly only with your heart . What is truly important is invisible to the eyes." and " You become responsible forever, for what you have tamed." His lines impressed me. (Yes. But how did these lines impress you? - and why did these lines impress you? - These are the important things that you need to impress your reader with.) As a result of admiring him as great wirtter writer. (This is an incomplete English sentence. Find a way to express the same idea with a complete sentence.)
    Last edited by Monticello; 19-May-2009 at 01:30.

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