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  1. #1
    iaur is offline Newbie
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    Default Help me and you'll see the result on YouTube!

    Can someone please check my English please?
    If there's something wrong (grammar mistake, some incorrect verbs or wrong construction of a prase), could you please correct it for me?

    I'm making a video on YouTube, so you'll see the result once you corrected the text! ;)
    Thanks in advance for your time and kindness!

    It is a period of high recession on planet Earth.
    Prices all over the vast planet have risen to unbearable levels,
    the economy is falling and the humans seamed to have lost all hopes.
    But theres sparking light at the end of the tunnel, and that
    is the shinning XYZs site: a new enhanced site version with tons
    of computer products, blank disks, office and audio/video equipment
    and a lot more, all at your grasps at incredible affordable prices.
    XYZ is the new elite rebel group that is successfully fighting against
    the Galactic Recession Empire.
    They are the fastest, strongest, and highest trained team force on
    the planet and they will help you and get you what you need with
    your total satisfaction. Log on the new XYZ and
    may the force be with you

  2. #2
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Help me and you'll see the result on YouTube!

    It is a period of high recession on planet Earth.
    Prices all over the vast planet have risen to unbearable levels,
    the economy is failing and the humans seemed to have lost all hopes.
    But theres sparking light at the end of the tunnel, and that
    is the shining XYZs site: a new enhanced site version with tons
    of computer products, blank disks, office and audio/video equipment
    and a lot more, all within your grasp at incredible affordable prices.
    XYZ is the new elite rebel group that is successfully fighting against
    the Galactic Recession Empire.
    They are the fastest, strongest, and highest trained team force on
    the planet and they will help you and get you what you need with
    your total satisfaction. Log on the new XYZ and
    may the force be with you
    #

    Hmmmmmm

  3. #3
    iaur is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Help me and you'll see the result on YouTube!

    Thank you very much for your help Anglika! ...
    Wow...I did pretty good then.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    [...]
    the economy is failing and [...]
    I have a doubt on this...are you sure that "falling" can't be used?
    Obviously the sense with both words is quite similar, but I was wondering why you changed it.
    failing --> failure, lack of success.
    falling --> dropping, descending

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    Hmmmmmm
    What you are thinking about? What is troubling you?

    Thanks again!
    Last edited by iaur; 21-May-2009 at 15:22.

  4. #4
    Anglika is offline No Longer With Us
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    Default Re: Help me and you'll see the result on YouTube!

    Quote Originally Posted by iaur View Post
    Thank you very much for your help Anglika! ...
    Wow...I did pretty good then.

    I have a doubt on this...are you sure that "falling" can't be used?
    Obviously the sense with both words is quite similar, but I was wondering why you changed it.
    failing --> failure, lack of success.
    falling --> dropping, descending

    In this context, the economy is dropping OR the economy is failing. Falling would not be used.


    What you are thinking about? What is troubling you? I am a cynic. This kind of advert always makes me wonder.

    Thanks again!
    ..

  5. #5
    iaur is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Help me and you'll see the result on YouTube!

    Quote Originally Posted by Anglika View Post
    ..
    Thanks again for your explanation.
    It was really useful and now I understand.

    Since posting the link of the youtube video in this thread might be considered spamming, I won't. I'll just PM you the link since you helped me.

    Thanks again for your time and help.
    Have a nice day.

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