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  1. #1
    alisa_84 is offline Newbie
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    i need help with my introduction :(

    Hello everybody!
    I really need some help with the introduction of my presentation.
    Well, as a topic I have Witches in Macbeth and I have written some sort of introduction in which I need to say sth about the reasons why I chose that topic. Can You please correct my version or you can as well write sth better or more appropriate.
    Thanks

    INTRODUCTION

    If somebody is wondering why Shakespeare my answer to that question would be another question " who else is so interesting and great to talk about?"
    " and why Macbeth and the Witches? "
    well it is in human nature that we are more interested in bad things -evil and isnce Macbeth is in some way the unluckiest of all Shakespeare`s plays ,particulary for those who act in it,the Macbeth is my logical choice.
    that is the same reason why i picked witches as a main topic of my diploma paper.they are still something misterious and therefore sth very intriguing.

  2. #2
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    Re: i need help with my introduction :(

    INTRODUCTION

    If somebody is wondering why Shakespeare my answer to that question would be another question " who else is so interesting and great to talk about?"
    " and why Macbeth and the Witches? "
    well it is in human nature that we are more interested in bad things -evil and isnce Macbeth is in some way the unluckiest of all Shakespeare`s plays ,particulary for those who act in it,the Macbeth is my logical choice.
    that is the same reason why i picked witches as a main topic of my diploma paper.they are still something misterious and therefore sth very intriguing.

    Perhaps you could try this?

    "Why Shakespeare?" My answer to this is a simple one. Which other playwright is as interesting and talked about?
    Having created so many words and expressions that are still used today, written such masterpieces as Romeo and Juliet, Othello, Hamlet and my favourite Macbeth; he is in a league of his own.
    Macbeth has always stood out for me for many reasons; its timeless plot, strong human emotions and rich characters.
    It is some of these characters that I have chose to base my diploma paper around. The Witches.

  3. #3
    bhaisahab's Avatar
    bhaisahab is offline Moderator
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    Re: i need help with my introduction :(

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisB07 View Post
    INTRODUCTION

    If somebody is wondering why Shakespeare my answer to that question would be another question " who else is so interesting and great to talk about?"
    " and why Macbeth and the Witches? "
    well it is in human nature that we are more interested in bad things -evil and isnce Macbeth is in some way the unluckiest of all Shakespeare`s plays ,particulary for those who act in it,the Macbeth is my logical choice.
    that is the same reason why i picked witches as a main topic of my diploma paper.they are still something misterious and therefore sth very intriguing.

    Perhaps you could try this?

    "Why Shakespeare?" My answer to this is a simple one. Which other playwright is as interesting and talked about?
    Having created so many words and expressions that are still used today, written such masterpieces as Romeo and Juliet, Othello, Hamlet and my favourite Macbeth; he is in a league of his own.
    Macbeth has always stood out for me for many reasons; its timeless plot, strong human emotions and rich characters.
    It is some of these characters that I have chose to base my diploma paper around. The Witches.
    Well, you did a good job of writing her presentation for her.

  4. #4
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    Re: i need help with my introduction :(

    Just a nice start to get her going

  5. #5
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    konungursvia is offline Key Member
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    Re: help with an introduction

    There are a few weaknesses:

    If you're giving a speech, the oral style is okay. If it's a written essay, you should probably get rid of the spoken-English style, including the "fun" rhetorical questions.

    The second issue is that you may be confusing various planes of reality: Is the character Macbeth the unluckiest of Shakespearean tragic heroes, because he is killed in a nasty way? Is the play Macbeth somehow unlucky because it was not performed for decades until being rediscovered? Are the actors hired to play the parts unlucky, because they have to memorize several difficult and long scenes? I can't tell what you mean.

    As for the structure: as I advise all young students who find literary essays difficult, why not take advantage of attack structures that have worked well for centuries, and always sound good? An introductory paragraph like this always works well:

    1st sentence: a Tolstoyesque generality (e.g. "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.")

    2nd sentence: a bridge, a qualification that funnels and limits the scope of the generality (e.g. "Yet the family in today's society is an institution undergoing a sea change: both parents often work, and family dinners are a thing of the past.")

    3rd sentence: a plain thesis statement (e.g. "This essay will examine the causes and consequences of the disintegration of the modern nuclear family.")

    Can you try this for your topic? It would be quite easy and sound good.

  6. #6
    konungursvia's Avatar
    konungursvia is offline Key Member
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    Re: i need help with my introduction :(

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisB07 View Post
    Just a nice start to get her going
    I spent 10 minutes on a duplicate post answering her elsewhere.... darn it!

    Okay, I'll just paste the other answer I wrote here:

    "There are a few weaknesses:

    If you're giving a speech, the oral style is okay. If it's a written essay, you should probably get rid of the spoken-English style, including the "fun" rhetorical questions.

    The second issue is that you may be confusing various planes of reality: Is the character Macbeth the unluckiest of Shakespearean tragic heroes, because he is killed in a nasty way? Is the play Macbeth somehow unlucky because it was not performed for decades until being rediscovered? Are the actors hired to play the parts unlucky, because they have to memorize several difficult and long scenes? I can't tell what you mean.

    As for the structure: as I advise all young students who find literary essays difficult, why not take advantage of attack structures that have worked well for centuries, and always sound good? An introductory paragraph like this always works well:

    1st sentence: a Tolstoyesque generality (e.g. "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.")

    2nd sentence: a bridge, a qualification that funnels and limits the scope of the generality (e.g. "Yet the family in today's society is an institution undergoing a sea change: both parents often work, and family dinners are a thing of the past.")

    3rd sentence: a plain thesis statement (e.g. "This essay will examine the causes and consequences of the disintegration of the modern nuclear family.")

    Can you try this for your topic? It would be quite easy and sound good.

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