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Thread: key phrase

  1. #1
    Ju is offline Senior Member
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    Default key phrase

    Hi,

    1) I am designing a key phrase to appear on the first page of my website in promoting the service of infant massage. Your input and correction are welcome to make sure my following suggested key phrase is not implying any sense of obscenity.

    'Blooms with loving strokes to many years to come'

    My thought of the above key phrase is about the strokes of infant massage will thrive infant to teens.

    Any correction or suggestion from you?


    2) Shall I name 'key phrase' as 'slogan?


    Tks / ju

  2. #2
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    Default Re: key phrase

    First, I'm not a teacher. But I'll try to help.

    Your slogan (Yes, I would use 'slogan' instead of 'key phrase.') is not obscene in any way.

    'Blooms with loving strokes to many years to come.'

    'Blossom with loving strokes for many years to come' might work better.
    The main problem that interferes with my understanding is the bolded 'to'.
    Changing it to a 'for' would best convey your intended meaning.

  3. #3
    Ju is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: key phrase

    Quote Originally Posted by zjennin View Post
    First, I'm not a teacher. But I'll try to help.

    Your slogan (Yes, I would use 'slogan' instead of 'key phrase.') is not obscene in any way.

    'Blooms with loving strokes to many years to come.'

    'Blossom with loving strokes for many years to come' might work better.
    The main problem that interferes with my understanding is the bolded 'to'.
    Changing it to a 'for' would best convey your intended meaning.
    I am working on a quota for baby. Any suggestion or correction?

    Thank you Zjennin!

    Then any suggestion/correction from you on my quote for babies as follow? I am trying to say infant massage will benefit from the stage of infancy to teens. Do you feel inspiring with my suggested slogan and quote? I really need comment.

    1) "For now under my loving touch; Forever the gains with you......my babies"

    or


    2) "For now under my loving touch; Forever under the love & gains ......my babies"


    Tk / ju

  4. #4
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    Default Re: key phrase

    My suggestion would be something like: "My loving touch is with you now; the benefits will be with you forever."
    If you are using a semicolon (;), it needs to separate two related independent clauses.

    I am a bit uncomfortable with the last "...my babies" part. It seems a little creepy to me. However, it would not be incorrect to add it at the end. Just make sure to only use three (...) dots instead of six (......).

  5. #5
    Ju is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: key phrase

    Quote Originally Posted by zjennin View Post
    My suggestion would be something like: "My loving touch is with you now; the benefits will be with you forever."
    If you are using a semicolon (;), it needs to separate two related independent clauses.

    I am a bit uncomfortable with the last "...my babies" part. It seems a little creepy to me. However, it would not be incorrect to add it at the end. Just make sure to only use three (...) dots instead of six (......).
    What do you suggest if I prefer to start the quote with 'Now....; Forever......

    ju

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