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  1. #1
    Ever Student's Avatar
    Ever Student is offline Senior Member
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    Exclamation My paragraph and your editing

    We know two animals, turtles and snails, which move slowly by dragging a heavy shell. They are accused of laziness. Short feet with a fleshy body being condemened to carry a house. In fact, these prisoners are being punished for their harmlessness. Were they beast , they wouldn't be in jail. Nobody looks them up. Because they are not powerful to run fast, follow, tear, and finally devour any animals. In fact, wasting time with feeling secure caused them to be unsecured. The wilder they are, the closer to a king they come. Insecurity, brutality, and seeking power and force is the key of success for turtles and snails.

  2. #2
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    Re: My paragraph and your editing

    Quote Originally Posted by taghavi View Post
    We know two animals, turtles and snails, which move slowly by dragging a heavy shell. They are accused of laziness. Short feet with a fleshy body being condemened condemned to carry a house. In fact, these prisoners are being punished for their harmlessness. Were they beast , they wouldn't be in jail. Nobody looks do you mean 'locks'
    ?
    them up. Because they are not powerful to run fast, follow, tear, and finally devour any animals. We call this a 'dependent clause'; it's not a complete sentence. You have written the second half of a sentence. In fact, wasting time with feeling secure caused them to be unsecured. The wilder they are, the closer to a king they come. Insecurity, brutality, and seeking power and force is the key of success for turtles and snails.
    I have made some grammatical and spelling corrections

  3. #3
    Raymott's Avatar
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    Re: My paragraph and your editing

    Quote Originally Posted by taghavi View Post
    Nobody looks them up.
    I think you mean "Nobody looks up to them".

  4. #4
    Ever Student's Avatar
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    Re: My paragraph and your editing

    Hello,
    Yes, exactly, I mean "look up to them". Using phrasal verbs is too difficult for a non-native English speaker. Do you agree with me?

    And about "dependent clause":

    can I write as the following sentence?

    "Because they are not powerful to run fast,follow, tear, and finally devour any animals, nobody looks up to them."

    May I ask a question here:

    Do you have any expression like "Under question" in your language? for example, this matter is still under questioned.

  5. #5
    csheywood's Avatar
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    Re: My paragraph and your editing

    Quote Originally Posted by taghavi View Post
    Hello,
    Yes, exactly, I mean "look up to them". Using phrasal verbs is too difficult for a non-native English speaker. Do you agree with me? Yes, some are definitely harder than others

    And about "dependent clause":

    can I write as the following sentence?

    "Because they are not powerful to run fast,follow, tear, and finally devour any animals, nobody looks up to them." Yes, now it's complete. You can also write it in the original order without the full stop after 'them' but writing is more interesting when we are able to move things around.

    May I ask a question here:

    Do you have any expression like "Under question" in your language? for example, this matter is still under questioned. Yes, we use this, and another possible one is 'under debate'.
    -

  6. #6
    Ever Student's Avatar
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    Re: My paragraph and your editing

    Hello,
    Many thanks for your kindness and help. I learned a lot.

    Best regards,
    leila

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