Recent content by Bassim

  1. B

    The Funeral

    Would you please correct my mistakes in this text? When Linda received the news that her mother had died in hospital, she was relieved and sad at the same time. She had seen her mother being drunk ever since she could remember. She would return from school only to find her imbibing wine or...
  2. B

    Nora stood on the platform

    Do my sentences sound natural? Nora stood on the platform, her suitcase at her feet, waiting for a London-bound train. She had butterflies in her stomach, despite telling herself that everything was going to be OK. She had never been to London before, had neither relatives nor friends there...
  3. B

    Robert watched Ann

    Would you please correct the mistakes in this text? Robert watched Ann on TV talking about her new novel, and he said under his breath, "You're the most bitter woman there. You can win even the Nobel Prize, and you'll still wallow in bitterness." This was her second novel about her broken...
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    Paul admitted many times

    Do my sentences sound natural? Paul admitted many times he was an unruly and disruptive student. He was also a nuisance to his teachers who struggled to control him. They called his parents to school on numerous occasions and warned them to influence the behaviour of their son, but in vain...
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    When the weekend came

    Would you please correct the mistakes in this text? I wrote it just as an exercise. When the weekend came, Tom wished he had a car of his own and could go for a drive in the countryside. Of course, he could take a coach, but he hated to sit for a couple of hours in a crowded vehicle and...
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    The Bear Part four

    Would you please correct the mistakes in the forth part of my short story? At the beginning, her neighbours were resentful. It was a miracle that an ordinary, plain-looking woman from a little village had become a star overnight. Many were consumed with envy as they watched Conchita strutting...
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    As Tom was walking along

    Do my sentences sound natural? As Tom was walking along the towpath, eating his sandwich and enjoying the cool breeze from the river, a gull swooped on him, almost brushing against him. It scared him because it flew in from nowhere. He instinctively held firmly his sandwich as more gulls...
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    Tne veneer of Kevin's and Sheila's happy

    Can "veneer" be used in my sentence? Would you please correct my sentences? The veneer of Kevin's and Sheila's happy marriage cracked when they went on holiday to Portugal. He wanted to stay on the seaside as they had planned, but she wanted to go to Lisbon and visit a couple of museums and do...
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    Bob and Antonia separeted

    Do my sentences sound natural? Bob and Antonia separated after five years - the decision that made them both feel miserable. They were strong-willed and quarrelsome, and their marriage was a roller coaster. Periods of passionate love would suddenly turn into hatred for no apparent reason. They...
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    The Bear Part three

    Would you please correct my mistakes in the third part of my short story? In the meantime, the media caught a whiff of the story, and numerous journalists and TV crews arrived in the village. They wanted of course to talk to the main witness, Pablo, but the poor man was in no state to give any...
  11. B

    After spending most of his professional

    Do my sentences sound natural? After spending most of his professional career in academia, Paul, newly retired, decided to volunteer as a teacher of English for refugees. This was the first time he had the opportunity to hear first-hand some harrowing stories from people from Africa and Asia...
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    Writer Rob Rebel refused

    Do my sentences sound natural? Writer Rob Rebel refused to appear on the BBC again, as a matter of principle. The last time when he was on the show, he was accused by the commentariat of racism, sexism and a couple of more isms. When he got the invitation again, he told the producer he wasn't...
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    The Bear Part two

    Would you please correct my mistakes in the second part of my short story? Now that the authorities had obtained his DNA, they decided to tranquillize all the bears in the area and take their DNA in the hope to find the match. But after all the samples had been checked, they had to admit that...
  14. B

    Mother and son

    Would you please correct my mistakes in this dialogue. I wrote it as an exercise, trying to sound natural. "You’ve changed, son,” Emina said. She sat at the kitchen table watching her son eating a pie. “Of course, I’ve changed. I’ve become older,” Adnan replied...
  15. B

    Word "invest"

    I am wondering if the word "invest" could be used in this text. Do my sentences sound natural? Paul was devastated when Claudia told him she wanted to break up the marriage. He had invested so much in their relationship - not only emotionally but financially too. Now he regretted all the...
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