Just as the world is changing so too is...

[angelsrolls]

Just as the world is changing so too are the characteristics of problems. It is a fact that the phenomenon of globalization brings new problems to the agenda such as growing economic crises, negative effects of global warming and cyber-attacks.

Having said that, globalization has become the driving power in economic development. It has increased interdependence and the opportunities for cooperation in the international arena. Moreover, it has reduced the risk of a large-scale conflict in the world.

Having a command of the current international environment, this complicated picture includes vagueness and concerns as well as signs of optimism towards the future, an example being the spread of the understanding of making international consultation and decision-making processes more democratic.

The global winds of change are blowing stronger. Under these circumstances, passive-reactive attitudes are no longer sustainable. Participation, taking responsibility and showing leadership have now become sine qua non for having a voice in the international arena.

The text above is my translation of a sample text retrieved from the Turkish Foreign Ministry's entrance examination. Can you please check the English?

 

[teechar]

Try avoiding literal translation of phrases/expressions if you can. For example, phrases such as "the characteristics of problems" or "brings new problems to the agenda" don't have a clear meaning. I suggest you rewrite your text in a simpler and more direct way. Once you've done that, post it below.

 

[angelsrolls]

When doing translations, I do change some expressions to make the English sound natural to my non-native ears, but I usually prefer to stay as true to the original as possible.

Just as the world is changing so too is the nature of problems. It is a fact that the phenomenon of globalization leads to new problems such as growing economic crises, negative effects of global warming and cyber-attacks.

Having said that, globalization has a powerful influence on economic development. Moreover, it has increased interdependence and the opportunities for cooperation in the international arena. Furthermore, it has reduced the risk of a large-scale conflict in the world.

Dominating the current international environment, this complicated picture includes vagueness and concerns as well as signs of optimism towards the future, an example being the spread of the understanding of making international consultation and decision-making processes more democratic.

The global winds of change are blowing stronger. Under these circumstances, passive-reactive attitudes are no longer sustainable. Participation, taking responsibility and showing leadership have now become sine qua non for having a voice in the international arena.

Is it better now?

 

[teechar]

[STRIKE]Just as[/STRIKE] The world is changing, and so are the challenges we face. [STRIKE]too is the nature of problems.[/STRIKE] It is a fact that (the phenomenon of) globalization has lead to new problems such as growing economic crises, [STRIKE]negative effects of[/STRIKE] global warming and cyber-attacks.

Having said that, globalization has (also) been a major impetus for [STRIKE]a powerful influence on[/STRIKE] economic development. Moreover, it has increased interdependence and the opportunities for cooperation in the international arena [STRIKE]. Furthermore, it has[/STRIKE] and reduced the risk of a large-scale conflict in the world.

Dominating the current international environment, this complicated picture includes vagueness and concerns as well as signs of optimism towards the future, an example being the [STRIKE]spread of the understanding[/STRIKE] increasingly widespread acceptance/realization of making international consultation and decision-making processes more democratic.

The global winds of change are blowing stronger. Under these circumstances, passive-reactive attitudes are no longer sustainable. Participation, taking responsibility and showing leadership have now become sine qua non for having a voice in the international arena.

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