atef94
New member
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2015
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Arabic
- Home Country
- Egypt
- Current Location
- United Arab Emirates
Hey guys
So i wanted to email a university i wanted to register for
the first and the second paragraphs were taken from a different thread (https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/threads/183487-Formal-e-mail-to-a-university-is-it-correct)
So i tried to edit the main letter myself, if you could just please check if the english is fine and the formail emailing format and the paragraphs dividing
just check the whole thing
here the email starts
Greetings Student Recruitment & Admission Department,
This is to request more information about your Pharmacy and Pharmaceutical Industries course. I am extremely interested in this course and I am anxious to apply for it in your renowned University for admission in 2016/2017.
I am a Cambridge International Examinations (CIE) student, who completed the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) course in the year 2010, in The Westminster School, Dubai. I registered in Ajman University of Science and Technology, Ajman, for Pharmacy and Human Sciences College in 2011/2012. Unfortunately I couldn’t achieve the required passing grade and was under the Academic Warning Policy provided by the university rules, and was forced to transfer to another college, so I chose Business Administration College in the same university. Regrettably, it didn’t work for me either, although I still have a chance to get over the warning in the following summer course and the first semester of the next year, raising my AGPA to more than 2.0.
Having shown that, I am really curious if the admission chance in Deraya University is still available for students of my situation.
Thank you in advance for your attention to my request, I look forward to receive your response.
Yours Sincerely,
Mohammed Ahmed
So i wanted to email a university i wanted to register for
the first and the second paragraphs were taken from a different thread (https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/threads/183487-Formal-e-mail-to-a-university-is-it-correct)
So i tried to edit the main letter myself, if you could just please check if the english is fine and the formail emailing format and the paragraphs dividing
just check the whole thing
here the email starts
Greetings Student Recruitment & Admission Department,
This is to request more information about your Pharmacy and Pharmaceutical Industries course. I am extremely interested in this course and I am anxious to apply for it in your renowned University for admission in 2016/2017.
I am a Cambridge International Examinations (CIE) student, who completed the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) course in the year 2010, in The Westminster School, Dubai. I registered in Ajman University of Science and Technology, Ajman, for Pharmacy and Human Sciences College in 2011/2012. Unfortunately I couldn’t achieve the required passing grade and was under the Academic Warning Policy provided by the university rules, and was forced to transfer to another college, so I chose Business Administration College in the same university. Regrettably, it didn’t work for me either, although I still have a chance to get over the warning in the following summer course and the first semester of the next year, raising my AGPA to more than 2.0.
Having shown that, I am really curious if the admission chance in Deraya University is still available for students of my situation.
Thank you in advance for your attention to my request, I look forward to receive your response.
Yours Sincerely,
Mohammed Ahmed
