Motivation letter - Master's programme in International Business & Consulting

[Motivated]

Hello guys,

could you please check my letter of motivation in terms of grammar and spelling? The application deadline for the master's programme is 15 June 2016.

Thanks in advance for the efforts .


Kind regards

Motivated


Motivation letter for the Master's programme in International Business & Consulting with major in International Strategic Management at __ university

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing regarding my application for the Master's Degree programme in "International Business & Consulting with specialization in International Strategic Management" at __ university for the winter term 2016.

I successfully completed my first university degree in Economics at __ university in 2015, primarily focused on the teaching of economic-related processes using theoretical approaches but also imparted basic principles of business administration. Additionally, I took a study module in project management with the aim of expanding my skills in this area obtained by various international company representatives discussing the key roles of project managers and supplemental case studies concentrating on their responsibilities during project management processes. By composing a bachelor thesis with the title "Strategic Alliances as a cooperative strategy", especially using a real example of a global strategic cooperation in the automotive industry - the Renault-Nissan Alliance - I extended my know-how researching management literatures and, in particular, I had the opportunity to apply an important management tool, the SWOT analysis, identifying the strengths and weaknesses of the Ford Motor Company in order to determine its potentials to cooperate with the other strategic partners Renault and Nissan.

Concerning work experiences, I gained my first international expertise during a three-month internship as a travel agent at _ company. In this time period, I developed my English language skills by advising customers of different countries in terms of flight reservations and ticket prices leading to an increase in communication skills. Furthermore, I completed a work placement in a nonprofit organisation (at the day care center _ company). My main responsibilities included administrative tasks, but I also supported the team in managing daily operations which reinforced my interest working with people from different cultural backgrounds and pursuing management tasks.
Additionally, I posses the C1 language level in English, categorized in the level group "Proficient User", allowing me to communicate easily with any English native speaker.

In order to get my desired profession as a business consultant in a leading global corporation and to extend my academic skills, your course of study "International Business & Consulting with major in International Strategic Management" provides the optimal basis for that due to the conveyance of specific theoretical know-how acquired by internationally competent lecturers - especially through the concentration on consulting and strategic management courses - the inclusion of international students groups accompanied by interactive seminars discussing contemporary management issues and company projects to gain practical knowledge and, ultimately, further expansion of competence created by interconnection of theoretical knowledge and practical experiences during an integrated internship. As a result, I will be ideally prepared for the profession as a successful self-employed business consultant working with an international team.

In conclusion, I am confident that my academic educational background combined with my practical experiences will meet your high quality standards and, moreover, I will enrich your university through my motivational skills and high commitment. I hope that I convinced you and look forward to your positive response.


Yours faithfully,

Motivated


Yunus C. is the creator of this post and the author of the motivation letter. I am writing this to confirm that I am the real applicant and to avoid any suspicion of plagiarism.

Thanks.

 

[teechar]

Hello guys,

Just be mindful please that "guys" is not appropriate on this forum. It is quite casual, and we're not all male here.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing regarding my application for the master's degree programme in "International Business & Consulting with specialization in International Strategic Management" at __ university for the 2016 winter term. [STRIKE]2016.[/STRIKE]

I successfully completed my first university degree in economics at __ university in 2015, which was primarily focused on the teaching of economic-related processes using theoretical approaches but also [STRIKE] imparted[/STRIKE] on the basic principles of business administration. Additionally, I took a study module in project management with the aim of expanding my skills in this area which I had obtained by interacting with various international company representatives discussing the key roles of project managers and from supplemental case studies concentrating on their responsibilities [STRIKE]during[/STRIKE] in project management processes. [STRIKE]By composing a[/STRIKE] My bachelor's thesis [STRIKE]with the[/STRIKE] was titled "Strategic Alliances as a cooperative strategy", [STRIKE]especially using[/STRIKE] and used a real example of a global strategic cooperation in the automotive industry - the Renault-Nissan Alliance. It helped me [STRIKE]extended my know-how researching management literatures[/STRIKE] improve my research skills and, in particular, I had the opportunity to apply an important management tool, the SWOT analysis, and identify [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] the strengths and weaknesses of the Ford Motor Company in order to determine its potential to cooperate with the other strategic partners, Renault and Nissan.

[STRIKE]Concerning[/STRIKE] Regarding my professional expertise, [STRIKE]work experiences,[/STRIKE] I gained my first international experience [STRIKE]expertise[/STRIKE] during a three-month internship as a travel agent at _ company, [STRIKE]. In this time period,[/STRIKE] where I developed my English language skills by advising customers [STRIKE]of different countries in terms of[/STRIKE] on flight reservations and ticket prices, which really enhanced my [STRIKE]leading to an increase in[/STRIKE] communication skills. Furthermore, I completed a work placement in a nonprofit organisation (at the day care center of _ company). My main responsibilities included administrative tasks, but I also supported the team in managing daily operations which reinforced my interest in working with people from different cultural backgrounds and pursuing management tasks.

Additionally, I [STRIKE]posses[/STRIKE] have the C1 language [STRIKE]level[/STRIKE] certificate in English, categorized [STRIKE]in the level group[/STRIKE] as a "Proficient User" level, allowing me to communicate easily with [STRIKE]any English[/STRIKE] native English speakers.

I believe that [STRIKE]In order to get my desired profession as a business consultant in a leading global corporation and to extend my academic skills,[/STRIKE] your programme [STRIKE]course of study "International Business & Consulting with major in International Strategic Management"[/STRIKE] provides the optimal basis to help me achieve my goal of becoming a business consultant in a leading global corporation and to extend my academic skills. [STRIKE]for that due to the conveyance of specific theoretical know-how acquired by[/STRIKE] This is because the course is delivered by internationally [STRIKE]competent[/STRIKE] renowned lecturers [STRIKE]- especially through the concentration[/STRIKE] and focuses on consulting and strategic management courses. [STRIKE]- the inclusion of[/STRIKE] In addition, the diversity that international students bring [STRIKE]groups accompanied by[/STRIKE] as well as the interactive seminars discussing contemporary management issues and company projects will help me gain valuable [STRIKE]to gain[/STRIKE] practical knowledge and [STRIKE], ultimately, further expansion of competence created by interconnection of theoretical knowledge and[/STRIKE] practical experience. [STRIKE]s during an integrated internship.[/STRIKE] As a result, I will be ideally prepared for the profession as a successful self-employed business consultant working with an international team.

In conclusion, I am confident that my academic educational background combined with my practical experience will meet your high [STRIKE]quality[/STRIKE] standards and, in turn, [STRIKE]moreover,[/STRIKE] I trust that I will enrich your university through my motivational skills and high commitment. I hope that I have managed to convince you of my suitability for the program, and I look forward to your positive response.


Yours faithfully,

Motivated

.

 

[Motivated]

Thank you very much for correcting my motivation letter. It helped me alot.

I have another question regarding my curriculum vitae. I added a "peronal statement and objective" part to my curriculum vitae, could you please review the following sentence:

Personal Statement and Objective

As a highly motivated individual disposing organizing ability with a strong educational background and work experiences in customer service and administration, I want to refine and deepen my knowledge in business and economics by attending a renowned educational institution with a strongly international orientation specialised in business and administration to become a top manager in a global company.

I have problems in integrating the part organising ability.


Thank you once again.

 

[emsr2d2]

That's a very long single sentence! Also, "disposing" definitely isn't the right word but I don't know what the right word is because I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

 

[Motivated]

First of all, thanks for your response. Haha I know, I have the inclination to use complex sentence structures .

With the term dispose, I mean that I possess organising abilities as a personal strength. How would you write this part of my CV?

 

[Motivated]

​

As a highly motivated individual with organisational skills, a strong educational background and work experiences in customer service and administration, I want to refine and deepen my knowledge in business and economics by attending a renowned educational institution with a strongly international orientation specialised in business and administration to become a top manager in a global company.

I slightly edited the part but I don't know the best way of reducing the sentence without altering its meaning.

 

[Motivated]

I just prepared my other letter of motivation for an application for the Master's programme in "International Economics". Both motivation letters only differ slightly due to the similarity of both courses.

Here are some excerpts:

My major courses included water economics - with the main focus on the analysis of environmental and industrial economic problems considering pricing and its social-political effects - and sports economics dealing with the economic importance of the sports industry (mass sport, professional sport and sports events), whereby the teaching of both study modules were mainly based on microeconomic concepts supported by mathematical formulas and diagrams linked with the conveyance of competitor analysis which helped me widen my knowledge in different areas of economics.

...

In the following paragraph, I briefly altered some information:

I believe that your programme provides the optimal basis to help me achieve my goal of becoming a consultant in a leading global corporation and to extend my academic abilities. This is because the course is delivered by high competent lecturers help me expanding my know-how in the topic fields of economics (e. g. macroeconomics or international economics). In addition, the integration of students in project seminars discussing contemporary policy issues as well as the integrated internship will support me gain valuable practical knowledge and real-world practices. As a result, I will be ideally prepared for the profession as a successful consultant working with an international team.

Thanks in advance once again.

 

[Motivated]

Sorry for another post but I wanted to share one more thing: I modified the last sentence of paragraph 5 because I want to show the link between the theoretical and practical knowledge:

The connection of academic education and real-world practices will finally allow me to be ideally prepared for the profession as a successful consultant working with an international team.

How would you evaluate this sentence in terms of grammar and content?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

All of Teechar's corrections are good. But the letter is still MUCH too wordy. The people who will read it have a mountain of letters just like it to plow through. It's self-defeating to burden them with unneeded words. You want them to like you, so prove you know how to get to the point.

I've kept all of Teechar's improvements. Here are some ways to shorten it further:

Dear Admissions,

I write to apply to the master's degree programme "International Business and Consulting, with specialization International Strategic Management" at __ University for the 2016 winter term.

I received my first economics degree from __ University in 2015. I focused on economic-related processes using theoretical approaches and also studied the basic principles of business administration. Additionally, I took a study module in project management, discussing with international company representatives the roles of project managers and studyingsupplemental case studies of theirproject management processes. My bachelor's thesis, "Strategic Alliances as a cooperative strategy", used a real example of global strategic cooperation in the automotive industry - the Renault-Nissan Alliance. It improved my research skills. In particular, I had the opportunity to apply an important management tool, the SWOT analysis toidentify the strengths and weaknesses of the Ford Motor Company and determine its potential to cooperate with Renaul and Nissan as strategic partners.

I gained my first international experience during a three-month internship as a travel agent at _ Company, where I improved my English advising customerson flight reservations and ticket prices. Then I completed a work placement in a nonprofit organisation at ___'s day care center. My main responsibilities were adminstrative, but I also supported the team in managing daily operations. This reinforced my interests in working with people from different backgrounds and in learning management.

I have the C1 language certificate in English at the"Proficient User" level, allowing me to communicate easily in English.

Your programme will help me achieve my goal of becoming a business consultant in a leading global corporation,because the course is delivered by renownedlecturers and focuses on consulting and strategic management courses.In addition, the diversity that international students bring, as well as the interactive seminars in management issues and company projects, will help me gain practical knowledge and experience, preparing me to become a self-employed business consultant working with an international team.

I trust that my education and experience meet your standards, and in turn, I trust that my skills and commitment will enrich your university. I look forward to your repsonse.


Yours truly,

Motivated


Avoid unneccesary adjectives and adverbs. Don't use a big word when a small word will say the same thing.

Here's a trick: After writing any document, go through it slowly THREE TIMES to shorten, tighten, sharpen, and clarify. This will show your readers that you really DO have strong communication skills.

 

[Motivated]

Thank you very much for your suggestions. Could you please review my other posts, I have to submit my letter of motivation and Curriculum Vitae tomorrow.

Thank you once again.