[Grammar] Please can someone help me with this letter

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doheng

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Aug 3, 2012
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Hi everyone,

I applied for one job and girl replied to me saying my letter is full of grammatical errors. Can someone please check and try to correct because I can't see what is wrong with it. This is the letter I sent...

"Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a highly talented Strategic Marketing Professional with over 2 years of experience and I would like to present my candidacy for a Marketing position with your company. I worked professionally for large corporations as well as smaller start-up organizations in Canada, United States and Europe.
Through my career, I have developed and applied skills such as:

· Excellent communication, interpersonal and public presentation skills
· Strong entrepreneurial and management skills
· Sound investigative, analytical and problem solving abilities
· Highly organized, creative and self motivated
· Hard working and detail oriented, perform well under pressure
· Producing good quality work within set time constraints
· Succinct knowledge and understanding of organizational operations
· Ability to work effectively in a fast paced team environment
· Excellent knowledge in Microsoft Office tools
· Social media strategies, Google Analytics, SEO, Web design (Adobe Dreamweaver), Adobe Photoshop CS5
· Very good knowledge of SAS Enterprise Guide, SAS Enterprise Miner, SPSS and SQL

If you hire me, you will find action-oriented, innovative, IT savvy, flexible and fast learning person who can work independently or in a team environment. My colleagues and supervisors appreciated my great work ethic, warm and open personality, ability to work well under pressure, win attitude, commitment to quality, endless ideas and excellent presenting and public speaking skills.
All relevant data about my education and experience is described in the attached resume. I am certain that my skills, experience and education will serve to create dramatic, profitable results for your company. I believe that provided information in this letter will be sufficient for your purposes.
I will be happy to make myself available for a personal interview with you at your convenience to discuss your current and future needs and how I might serve them.
Thank you for consideration of my application! Sorry for any inconvenience!"
 

doheng

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Serbo-Croatian
Home Country
Croatia
Current Location
Canada
Hi Gillnetter,

Thank you for your time looking through this letter! Now I see what she meant... It's not that horrible but OK. It's a little bit funny because she didn't focus on my skills and experience, she literally wrote "Your letter is full of grammatical errors". So typical for HR Managers... :) And I applied for data analysis job and writing skills are not in the first plan.
But what do you suggest, how can I improve my writing skills? Should I take writing course or something?
 
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