[Essay] Can anyone kindly help me edit my paragraph?

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Ever Student

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"Connections"

You may have an influential friend or supporter in order to accept you as a teacher in an entrance exam for a language institute. Being not qualified, you suddenly jump into the class in which you are a teacher with a lot of naughty students. Teaching is a kind of delicate job, so with having no experience you face a number of problems such as receiving sneers from the students who have more knowledge than you. They have taken most time in the language institutes and met teachers who specialized in teaching the language which you start teaching now. How much can your connector give you assistance while you are teaching? How can he save you from injuring your prestige? Which one you select? Wrong connectors or real friends?
 
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Raymott

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"Connections"

You may have an influential friend or supporter [STRIKE]in order[/STRIKE] who accepts you as a teacher in [STRIKE]an entrance exam for[/STRIKE] a language institute.
I'm not sure what you mean by "being accepted in an entrance exam as a teacher". Do you mean "... who accepts you as a teacher on the basis of your results in the entrance exam"?
Being unqualified, you suddenly jump into the class [STRIKE]in which you are[/STRIKE] as the teacher, with a lot of naughty students. Teaching is a delicate [kind of] job so, [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] having no experience, you face a number of problems, such as receiving sneers from the students who have more knowledge than you. They have [STRIKE]taken most[/STRIKE] spent more time in the language institutes and met teachers who specialized in teaching the language which you are starting to teach now. How much assistance can your [STRIKE]connector[/STRIKE] mentor give you [STRIKE]assistance[/STRIKE] while you are teaching? How can he save you from injuring your prestige? Which [STRIKE]one[/STRIKE] do you select? Wrong [STRIKE]connectors[/STRIKE] mentors or real friends?
'Mentor' might not be the correct word, but 'connector' certainly isn't.
"Patron' might work. Or 'supporter'.
 

Ever Student

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'Mentor' might not be the correct word, but 'connector' certainly isn't.
"Patron' might work. Or 'supporter'.

Hi,
Yes, whereas I didn't get a good result.
 
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Ever Student

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I would like to reduce the informality of the sentences above. Could you please give me some assistance?

Supporters

Supporters may select someone who has little knowledge as a teacher in a language institute. Being unqualified, one suddenly encounters a big class, with a lot of clever students. Those have learned the language for many years, and know it more than the new teacher. Their previous teachers have given them a large number of lessons, on the other hand, the present one has no or little new knowledge. Obviously, the supporters are the only ones responsible for their wrong action; therefore, this enlarged problem needs solving within a long-term process.
 
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Raymott

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I would like to reduce the informality of the sentences above. Could you please give me some assistance?

Supporters

Supporters may select someone who has little knowledge as a teacher in a language institute. Being unqualified, one suddenly encounters a big class, with a lot of clever students. Those have learned the language for many years, and know it more than the new teacher. Their previous teachers have given them a large number of lessons, on the other hand, the present one has no or little new knowledge. Obviously, the supporters are the only ones responsible for their wrong action; therefore, this enlarged problem needs solving within a long-term process.
Hi Ever,
Why are you saying that the supporter is the only one with responsibility for this state of affairs? Surely the person who takes the job knowing they are unqualified for it and will be subject to criticism for incompetence must take some responsibility.
Would you take out someone's appendix if a kind delusional supporter of yours gave you permission, and then blame the supporter when the patient died?
 
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Ever Student

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Hi Ever,
Why are you saying that the supporter is the only one responsibility for this state of affairs? Surely the person who takes the job knowing they are unqualified for it and will be subject to criticism for incompetence must take some responsibility.
Would you take out someone's appendix if a kind delusional supporter of yours gave you permission, and then blame the supporter when the patient died?
Hi Ray,

Thanks for your reading.

I would like to know if my paragraph follows both formal and correct rules and am grateful it if no body asks me about my ideas. Sorry, I am not in the mood.....

Best regards
Ever Student
 

5jj

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Hi Ray,

Thanks for your reading.

I would like to know if my paragraph follows both formal and correct rules and am grateful it if no body asks me about my ideas. Sorry, I am not in the mood.....

Best regards
Ever Student

I doubt if Ray is any more, after he gave up his time in an effort to help you.
 

Ever Student

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Raymott

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Moods are funny things. But you're right. You did not ask for my opinion on the content of your paragraph, and you have the right to wait until someone wants to give a dispassionate, and disinterested correction of your English.
 
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Ever Student

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Moods are funny things. But you're right. You did not ask for my opinion on the content of your paragraph, and you have the right to wait until someone wants to give a dispassionate, and disinterested correction of your English.
Thanks for your patience,

Wouldn'tyou like to give me some assistance if my paragraph is formal and gramatically correct?
 

Raymott

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Thanks for your patience,

Wouldn'tyou like to give me some assistance if my paragraph is formal and gramatically correct?
No, not today. Thanks for asking though.
 

Raymott

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Hi,
When will you reply me?
I don't intend to reply to your paragraph. I did once, and you didn't like my answer. You have put certain conditions on what you will accept in a reply. I have upheld your right to do this; but I also uphold my own right not to reply to any given post under those conditions.
If you require further explanation, you may PM me.
 
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