Short story about me.

[JustAlilBit]

Short story about me. Please correct me if you can.
Hello reader,
First of all, I'm writing this essay because I want to use English language and improve me understanding in English language sorry If I will talk nonsense.
Okay, I'm from Lithuania, Panevezys I'm eighteen years old studen and I've been learning English for two or three years I don't know approximately. My favorite hobby is leaning English and listening music. By the way I forgot to mention that I'm in eleven grade of course I'm going to brag that I'm the best student in my class. Now time talk about my family I have got brother he's eleven years old and he's in forth grade after school he's going to church, because he prepares for the first communion. Basically I would like to write something about my mother's job, but I don't know where my mother works LOL, but us relationship is pretty good. Even thogh I didn't write something special I don't know what I could write more. Besides I'm used to use my dictionary four times while I was writing this essay, because I forgot some words. Please assess me and let me know what do you think about this small essay. I'm just curious. Have a awesome day. Regrets.

 

[emsr2d2]

This is a short story about me. Please correct [STRIKE]me[/STRIKE] it if you can.

Hello reader,

First of all, I'm writing this essay because I want to use the English language and improve [STRIKE]me[/STRIKE] my understanding [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] of the English language. Sorry if I [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] talk nonsense.


[STRIKE]Okay,[/STRIKE] I'm from Panevezys in Lithuania.

[STRIKE]Panevezys[/STRIKE] I'm eighteen years old, I am a student and I've been learning English for approximately two or three years. [STRIKE]I don't know[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]approximately[/STRIKE].

My favorite hobbies are learning English and listening to music. [STRIKE]By the way I forgot to mention that[/STRIKE] I'm in the eleventh grade and of course I'm going to brag that I'm the best student in my class!

Now it's time to talk about my family. I have [STRIKE]got[/STRIKE] one brother. He's eleven years old and he's in the fourth grade.

After school [STRIKE]he's going[/STRIKE] he goes to church because he [STRIKE]prepares[/STRIKE] is preparing for [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] his first communion.

[STRIKE]Basically[/STRIKE] I would like to write something about my mother's job, but I don't know where my mother works! [STRIKE]LOL,[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]but[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]us[/STRIKE] Our relationship is pretty good.


Even though I didn't write [STRIKE]something[/STRIKE] anything special, I don't know what else I could write. [STRIKE]more.[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]Besides I'm used to use[/STRIKE] I used my dictionary four times while I was writing this essay, because I forgot some words. Please assess me and let me know what [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] you think about this [STRIKE]small[/STRIKE]short essay. I'm just curious. Have an awesome day. [STRIKE]Regrets.[/STRIKE] Regards.

I have made some corrections to your whole post, not just to your essay. The content of your short essay is OK but you could rearrange the paragraphs a little.

Don't use things like "By the way" and "LOL" in essays. They should contain full English words and sentences.

You need to look at your punctuation and make sure that you put a full stop at the end of sentences. I don't know about the punctuation rules in your native language but I think you probably have a full stop at the end of each sentence and a capital letter at the beginning of each new sentence.

Please look at the amendments I made and ask further questions if you need to.