Do you think children should be allowed unsupervised access to the internet?

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Maybo

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Topic: Do you think children should be allowed unsupervised access to the internet?

It depends on how well children understand the risks of the internet. For me, it's actually me who supervised my parents' access to the internet because they had little knowledge about the internet. In the past, computers was not that popular. I gained the use of computers and the internet in school and later on taught my parents.
But nowadays, many people have computers and smartphones, which makes it easier for people to access the internet in their early age. Some parents gives a smartphone to their young children before the children learned the risk of the internet at school. In this case, it is necessary to supervise their children until they get familiar with the internet. Parents need to let them know the consequences of misusing the internet and computers and ask them not to download suspicious files as well as expose their private information on the internet.
 

emsr2d2

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Topic: Do you think children should be allowed unsupervised access to the internet?

It depends on how well children understand the risks of the internet. [STRIKE]For me, it's[/STRIKE] I actually [STRIKE]me who[/STRIKE] supervised my parents' [STRIKE]access to the[/STRIKE] internet use because they had little knowledge [STRIKE]about[/STRIKE] of [STRIKE]the internet[/STRIKE] it. In the past, computers [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] were not that popular. I [STRIKE]gained the use of[/STRIKE] learned how to use computers and the internet [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at school and, later on, taught my parents.

But nowadays, many people have computers and smartphones, which makes it easier for [STRIKE]people[/STRIKE] them to access the internet [STRIKE]in their[/STRIKE] at an early age. Some parents [STRIKE]gives[/STRIKE] give their young children a smartphone[STRIKE] to their young children[/STRIKE] before [STRIKE]the children[/STRIKE] they have learned about the risks of the internet at school.

In this [STRIKE]case[/STRIKE] situation/scenario, it is necessary to supervise their children until they [STRIKE]get[/STRIKE] become familiar with the internet. Parents need to [STRIKE]let them know[/STRIKE] explain the consequences of misusing the internet and computers, and [STRIKE]ask[/STRIKE] tell them not to download suspicious files [STRIKE]as well as[/STRIKE] or [STRIKE]expose[/STRIKE] reveal [STRIKE]their[/STRIKE] any private information [STRIKE]on the internet[/STRIKE] online.

Please note my changes above. Even with my changes, there is a lot of repetition of "computers" and "the internet".

Initially, I was going to leave "in school" as it's used in AmE (and other variants, I think) but I noticed that later on in the piece you used "at school" (which is what I would use in BrE). They're both right but you need to be consistent.
 
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