english_learn
Member
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2010
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Tamil
- Home Country
- Switzerland
- Current Location
- Australia
Dear teacher,
Please read my writing below and kindly tell me what is my writing level such intermediate, upper intermediate, advanced etc. and what areas that I need to focus in order to improve my English to upper advanced level / highest level? Appreciate your 360 view feedback on my writing for my improvement
We live in a society where human jobs are being overtaken by technology. Organisations are willing to adapt and automate their business processes never before. As a result, unemployment rate has increased significantly across the world.
Using technology provides many benefits to business. It increases productivity, efficiency and sustainability of the business. Using human resources instead of technology is costing a lot because employer has to pay salary, annual leave and other compensation on a regular basis to human resources. Availability of technology is 24/7 which cannot be replaced by human resources. Also, organisations do not need to have human resources team to manage their equipment and only one human resource is sufficient to monitor them.
However, when companies keep on replacing human resources with technology, the society could face severe drawbacks. When unemployment is rate gone up, there will be poverty in the society and competition for jobs will increase. In order to win the competition and meet employer’s expectation job seekers will be forced to gain highest possible skills which could cost lots of money. People who cannot afford to pay for gaining skills will be stuck with unemployment. As a result, people will not have capacity to full fill their needs which could impact country’s economy.
Therefore, organisations should not only focus on their business benefits when automating business process but also think about society future. Government should come up with a law to enforce business to maintain a reasonable balance between technology equipment and human resources.
Please read my writing below and kindly tell me what is my writing level such intermediate, upper intermediate, advanced etc. and what areas that I need to focus in order to improve my English to upper advanced level / highest level? Appreciate your 360 view feedback on my writing for my improvement
We live in a society where human jobs are being overtaken by technology. Organisations are willing to adapt and automate their business processes never before. As a result, unemployment rate has increased significantly across the world.
Using technology provides many benefits to business. It increases productivity, efficiency and sustainability of the business. Using human resources instead of technology is costing a lot because employer has to pay salary, annual leave and other compensation on a regular basis to human resources. Availability of technology is 24/7 which cannot be replaced by human resources. Also, organisations do not need to have human resources team to manage their equipment and only one human resource is sufficient to monitor them.
However, when companies keep on replacing human resources with technology, the society could face severe drawbacks. When unemployment is rate gone up, there will be poverty in the society and competition for jobs will increase. In order to win the competition and meet employer’s expectation job seekers will be forced to gain highest possible skills which could cost lots of money. People who cannot afford to pay for gaining skills will be stuck with unemployment. As a result, people will not have capacity to full fill their needs which could impact country’s economy.
Therefore, organisations should not only focus on their business benefits when automating business process but also think about society future. Government should come up with a law to enforce business to maintain a reasonable balance between technology equipment and human resources.