[General] Where the things stuck?

Hi All,

I appreciate your help regarding the text below.

"I am writing to to reiterate my appreciate to you, I will also be grateful if you are taking my application with the same enthusiasm that has used to be showed before. I assure you that your support meant a lot to me and that your trust in me as a candidate will prove justified.

I konw that there is restrict KuwaitizIon in place but at the same time I see there is a real need to beef the team. From this point, I am writing to you today to know where the things stuck and how we can overcome this until you have me on board."

It needs a lot of improvement but before anyone tries, do tell us what on earth a Kuwaitzlon is.

emsr2d2 said:

It needs a lot of improvement but before anyone tries, do tell us what on earth a Kuwaitzlon is.

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Kuwaitizion means giving high priority in hiring for Kuwaiti nationals not expats.

Economist2010 said:

Kuwaitizion means giving high priority to hiring [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] Kuwaiti nationals, not expats.

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Oh! Thanks, that helps.

It's not English. It's another language. Don't use it when you're writing in English.

(Or maybe you mean Kuwaitization. That would be English, sort of, but it's not a great word, either.)

Economist2010 said:

Hi, all,

I appreciate your help regarding the text below:

[STRIKE]"I am writing to[/STRIKE]Allow me to reiterate my appreciation for your kindness and for keeping my application active. Your support means a lot to me [STRIKE]and that your trust in me as a candidate will prove justified[/STRIKE].

I know that you are mainly seeking Kuwaitis, but [STRIKE]at the same time[/STRIKE] I also know there is a real need to beef up the team. So I am writing [STRIKE]to you[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]today[/STRIKE] to find out where [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] things stand. [STRIKE]and how we can overcome this until you have me on board."[/STRIKE]

Do let me know how I can be of service.

Again, many thanks.

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And now, enough. If they want you, they'll call you.

Charlie Bernstein said:

And now, enough. If they want you, they'll call you.

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Many thanks Charlie. I liked your edits a lot. That's exactly what I want is to re-write in your own way. That will help my English get improved.

You're welcome!

Economist2010 said:

Many thanks, Charlie. I liked your edits a lot. That's exactly what I want [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] - for you to re-write my text in your own way. That will help my English [STRIKE]get improved[/STRIKE] to improve.

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Note my corrections above. I have corrected "That will help my English get improved" more than once in your posts. I've said it before and I'll say it again - you must take notice of our corrections and stop making the same errors over and over again. It's a waste of our time.

What you need to work on, alongside your English, is your frustrating inability (unwillingness) to accept that a company might not want to hire you. No amount of emailing them will change that. Every time you send another pushy, over-long and frequently disrespectful message, you are lowering your chances of getting a job with them.

emsr2d2 said:

Note my corrections above. I have corrected "That will help my English get improved" more than once in your posts. I've said it before and I'll say it again - you must take notice of our corrections and stop making the same errors over and over again. It's a waste of our time.

What you need to work on, alongside your English, is your frustrating inability (unwillingness) to accept that a company might not want to hire you. No amount of emailing them will change that. Every time you send another pushy, over-long and frequently disrespectful message, you are lowering your chances of getting a job with them.

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It might also get around to other companies, since people in the same business often talk with each other.

Then none of them will hire you.

Respect hiring processes. Respect other employees and other applicants. Respect people's valuable time. Respect rejection and learn to move on.

Hi all,

I have made some tweaks to the draft of my email to be more professional and to be acceptable for the CEO.

I really appreciate your help in editing it.

"I was and am still grateful of your enthusiasm for me as a candidate, in treating my application, and in each of your positive reply to my follow up e-mails. This something I appreciate and I wish to be exist until you have me on board.

I am with HR that locals have the highest priority but since you mentioned that you plan to beef the team up, and since you postponed your decision in my application until you see what will happen after a few weeks, I believe that your decision and ongoing support are still needed to align with HR to get an exception for me to join the team as an expat."

Thanks,

EE

Economist2010 said:

Hi Karen,

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Who is Karen?

Economist2010 said:

[STRIKE]Hi Karen,[/STRIKE]

I have made some tweaks to the draft of my email to be more professional and to be acceptable to the CEO.

I really appreciate your help in editing it.

"I [STRIKE]was and[/STRIKE] am [STRIKE]still[/STRIKE] grateful for your enthusiasm for me as a candidate[STRIKE], in treating my application, and in each of[/STRIKE] and for your positive replies to my [STRIKE]follow up[/STRIKE] e-mails. [STRIKE]This something I appreciate and I wish to be exist until you have me on board.[/STRIKE]

Don't assume you'll get the job. That would make you sound like you're not listening.

I [STRIKE]am with HR that[/STRIKE] know that locals have the highest priority, but since you mentioned that you plan to beef the team up[STRIKE], and since you postponed your decision in my application until you[/STRIKE] and see what [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] happens over the next few weeks, I apprediate your keeping me in mind.[STRIKE]believe that your decision and ongoing support are still needed to align with HR to get an exception for me to join the team as an expat."[/STRIKE]

Thanks,

EE

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Less is more. Business people hate long letters and memos. It will make you look unprofessional.

emsr2d2 said:

Who is Karen?

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Yes. Tell us more,Eco!

emsr2d2 said:

Who is Karen?

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It is by mistake.

Charlie Bernstein said:

Less is more. Business people hate long letters and memos. It will make you look unprofessional.

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I agree with you that some managers don't like long emails, however all managers like eloquent e-mails. Believe me it always works.

Economist2010 said:

I agree with you that some managers don't like long emails. However, all managers like eloquent e-mails. Believe me, it always works.

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Of course well-written is important. But eloquent does not mean long.

It also does not mean wordy, repetitious, obsequious, or inattentive.

I've been a manager and have known many managers. Managers like pithy.

Say hi to Karen for me!

[A]ll managers like eloquent emails.

But you're not there yet (assuming that's true).

Economist2010 said:

I agree with you that some managers don't like long emails, however all managers like eloquent e-mails. Believe me it always works.

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Can you show that unequivocally?

Tarheel said:

[A]ll managers like eloquent emails.

But you're not there yet (assuming that's true).

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That's why he asks us to fix them.

Charlie Bernstein said:

That's why he asks us to fix them.

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Of course! But in my humble opinion you should attain fluency before you set your sights on eloquence. (You have to walk before you can run.)