[Essay] I need help with this email for a recruiter

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silentbranch

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Jun 23, 2013
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Italian
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Hello I am writing an email to a recruiter in order to have a feedback.
Could you kindly check if it is good or if there is something that should be changed? I don't want that my email is a literal translation from the italian.

"Hello ****,
I hope this email finds you well.
I am **** and I had three phone interviews for the ***** role in Milan.
I am contacting you today with regards to the status of my application because I have high expectations for the job position and for the great opportunity to work in ******.
When I applied for the position in the ****'s website on March 31th I really believed that it was the right job I was looking for.
I have dreamed a lot about the big opportunity to work in a field I really like and with a company like *****.
I have dreamed about the opportunity to work in the international and heterogeneous environments that ***** could provide, about the possibility of working in a team with people from different countries, about the idea of travelling around the world and having business in the several *****'s branches in the world.

Look forward to hear from you and I send you best regards. "


Thank you so much for your help :)
 

billmcd

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Mar 27, 2009
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English Teacher
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English
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United States
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Hello I am writing an email to a recruiter in order to have a feedback.
Could you kindly check if it is good or if there is something that should be changed? I don't want that my email is a literal translation from the italian.

"Hello ****,
I hope this email finds you well. (I would not use this introductory statement in an e-mail of this type.)
[STRIKE] I am [/STRIKE] My name is **** and I had three phone interviews for the ***** role in Milan.
I am contacting you today with regard[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] to the status of my application because I [STRIKE] have high expectations [/STRIKE] I am anxious for the [STRIKE job position and [/STRIKE] for what I believe to be a [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] great opportunity to work in ******.
When I applied for the position in the ****'s website on March 31th I really believed that it was the right job I was looking for. I continue in that belief.

I have dreamed a lot about the [STRIKE] big [/STRIKE] great opportunity to work in a field I really like and with a company like *****.
[STRIKE] I have dreamed [/STRIKE] and about the [STRIKE] opportunity to work [/STRIKE] possibility of working in the international and heterogeneous environments that ***** could provide. [STRIKE] about [/STRIKE]The possibility of working in a team with people from different countries, [STRIKE] about [/STRIKE] the idea of traveling around the world and having business in the several *****'s branches in the world is also intriguing
I look forward to hearing from you and I send you best regards. "


Thank you so much for your help :)

Suggestions. Good luck.
 

silentbranch

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Joined
Jun 23, 2013
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Student or Learner
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Italian
Home Country
Italy
Current Location
Italy
thank you so much :)
 

silentbranch

Member
Joined
Jun 23, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Italian
Home Country
Italy
Current Location
Italy
the recruiter is so rude that for the second time has not answered to me.
 

emsr2d2

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Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
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British English
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UK
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UK
The recruiter is so rude that for the second time he/she has not [strike]answered[/strike] replied to me.

Unfortunately, the situation these days in many countries and companies is that you only receive a response if you are the successful candidate. Many companies get so many applications for each job that they claim they do not have the time to respond to each person who has failed to get the job. If you have a telephone number for this person, I would try giving them a call but, if not, if I were you, I would assume that you were unsuccessful in your bid for the job.
 
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