Could you correct this short paragraph please?

Hi teachers,
Could you correct this short paragraph please?
Grant and Flash both build houses, but Grant builds them slowly but well. He is a much better builder. Flash builds houses quickly but badly. He is a much worse builder. Once he built a house that fell down three months later.

Thanks in advance.

Hi Learning,

I'll have a go at it: "Grant and Flash bothe build houses. Grant builds them slowly but well, and so they are durable. On the other hand, Flash builds quickly but badly. He is a worse builder; one of the houses he built collapsed after only three months."

Greetings,

charliedeut

learning54 said:

Once he built a house that fell down three months later.

Thanks in advance.

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Hello.:-D
In my opinion, it would be better to use a "non-restrictive relative clause" in the sentence above:

"Once he built a house, which fell down (collapsed) three months later."

I wouldn't ask Flash to build my house.:shock:

Saying that Grant is a "much better builder" at the beginning of the piece is confusing. At that point, the reader has no other builder to compare him with. It is better to say that he is a good builder and then go on to say that Flash is a worse (or "bad" or "not as good a") builder.

emsr2d2 said:

Saying that Grant is a "much better builder" at the beginning of the piece is confusing. At that point, the reader has no other builder to compare him with. It is better to say that he is a good builder and then go on to say that Flash is a worse (or "bad" or "not as good a") builder.

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Hi,
Thank you for your reply.
Will it be better like this then?
Grant and Flash both build houses, but Grant is a good builder and Flash is a bad one. Grant builds houses slowly but well. He is a much better builder. Flash builds houses quickly but badly. He is a much worse builder. Once he built a house that fell down three months later.

L.

charliedeut said:

Hi Learning,

I'll have a go at it: "Grant and Flash both build houses. Grant builds them slowly but well, and so they are durable. On the other hand, Flash builds quickly but badly. He is a worse builder; one of the houses he built collapsed after only three months."
charliedeut

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Hi,
Thank you for your correction. Is it better to use 'collapsed' than 'fell down'?

L.

learning54 said:

Hi,
Thank you for your reply.
Will it be better like this then?

Grant and Flash both build houses, but Grant is a good builder and Flash is a bad one. Grant builds houses slowly but well. He is a much better builder than Flash. Flash builds houses quickly but badly. He is a much worse builder than Grant. Once he built a house that fell down three months later.

L.

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If you use "much better" and "much worse" then you need to include the "than + name". The sentences "He is a much better builder" and "He is a much worse builder" don't work well on their own.

I would say perhaps "Grant and Flash build houses. Grant is a good builder and Flash is a bad builder. Grant builds houses slowly but well, and Flash builds houses quickly but badly. Grant is a much better builder than Flash. Flash once built a house which fell down three months later."

If you are looking to write comprehension questions, you will be able to test their knowledge of "better/worse" without having given them the answer. You could ask, for example, "Is Flash a better builder than Grant?" and try to elicit the answer "No. Flash is a worse builder than Grant". Of course, you would also have to accept the answer "No. Grant is a better builder than Flash" which the students can take straight from the text. Alternatively, you could ask "Is Flash a worse builder than Grant?" and hope for "Yes, he is". ;-)

tzfujimino said:

Hello.:-D
In my opinion, it would be better to use a "non-restrictive relative clause" in the sentence above:

"Once he built a house, which fell down (collapsed) three months later."

I wouldn't ask Flash to build my house.:shock: Me neither! ;-)

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Hi, Thank you for your reply and suggestion. Even though I do agree with you. This text is for low intermediate students. So, we haven't done restrictive clauses in class yet.

L.

learning54 said:

Hi,
Thank you for your correction. Is it better to use 'collapsed' than 'fell down'?

L.

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"Fell down" will teach them a phrasal verb and may make them work harder.

If you use "much better" and "much worse" then you need to include the "than + name". The sentences "He is a much better builder" and "He is a much worse builder" don't work well on their own.

Click to expand...

Believe it or not I really thought about this one. Thank you for correcting me.

If you are looking to write comprehension questions, you will be able to test their knowledge of "better/worse" without having given them the answer. You could ask, for example, "Is Flash a better builder than Grant?" and try to elicit the answer "No. Flash is a worse builder than Grant". Of course, you would also have to accept the answer "No. Grant is a better builder than Flash" which the students can take straight from the text. Alternatively, you could ask "Is Flash a worse builder than Grant?" and hope for "Yes, he is".

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Yes I'm looking for comprehension questions. I'll post them later on to see if I did it right. I really can't now. I'm in a hurry due to I have a class at 11:00 am.

"Grant and Flash build houses. Grant is a good builder and Flash is a bad builder. Grant builds houses slowly but well, and Flash builds houses quickly but badly. Grant is a much better builder than Flash. Flash once built a house which fell down three months later."

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Thank you very much for your correction.
L.

Hi emsr2d2,
A couple of questions please:
a) Isn't, 'which felt down three months later' a 'non-restrictive relative clause'?
b) Non-restrictive relative clauses are put in commas, aren't they? So I need a comma after 'house' as thfujimino did it. Right?

Grant and Flash build houses. Grant is a good builder and Flash is a bad builder. Grant builds houses slowly but well, and Flash builds houses quickly but badly. Grant is a much better builder than Flash. Flash once built a house, which fell down three months later."

L.

Hi teachers,
Grant and Flash build houses. Grant is a good builder and Flash is a bad builder. Grant builds houses slowly but well, and Flash builds houses quickly but badly. Grant is a much better builder than Flash. Flash once built a house which fell down three months later."

According to the paragraph above, are they suitable questions and answers?

a) What do they do? They build houses.
b) Who is a bad builder? Flash is.
c) How does Grant build houses? He builds them slowly but well.
d) How does Flash build houses? He builds them quickly but badly.
e) Is Flash a better builder than Grant? No, he isn't. He is a worse one.
f) What happened to Flash once? He built a house that fell down three months later.

Could you tell me better ones?

L.

I suggest you start a new thread for the comprehension questions. The original post was about the wording of the paragraph and that has now been dealt with so you're now onto a different topic. Thanks.

emsr2d2 said:

I suggest you start a new thread for the comprehension questions. The original post was about the wording of the paragraph and that has now been dealt with so you're now onto a different topic. Thanks.

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Hi,
No problem at all and thanks for your suggestion.

L.