[Cover Letter] Please correct this new motivation letter

Hello
I'm so sorry"emsr2d2", I deleted the motivation letter because of "teechar"'s suggestion to rewrite it. Therefore, I thought its better to be removed. I appreciate if you guys take a look at this new motivation letter and correct it. I even am not sure about its paragraphs' order.
Thanks in advance

I am writing to express my interest in your PhD position "xxxx".

My intellectual curiosity about cells is what led me to pursue my bachelors in Cell & molecular Biology and my masters in Molecular Genetics. During my Bachelor's degree after participating in some seminars about cancer biology and also because of increasing rate of this disease in my hometown, I decided to work on cancer for my master’s thesis. Although I was accepted in one of the top universities in my country, unfortunately, because of the lack of research facilities, my aim could not be realized.
Hence, based on my supervisor’s suggestion and my keenness on helping improve diagnosis prospects and cure diseases in which genetics play a role, I decided to work on an autoimmune disease called xxx, which gave me a strong background about immune system function, and it reinforced my interest in pursuing higher education to study about the role of immune system in metastasis process.

I would like to mention that a few years ago after reading an article called “xxxx”, I was interested in studying about bioinformatics, omics techniques, and their significance. Therefore, I tried to analyze missense single-nucleotide polymorphisms in two different genes for finding the most effective ones in changing the protein product which are related to autoimmune diseases and I published the results in two international congresses. So I am familiar with some bioinformatics tools and now I am learning R programming and system biology and I plan to learn MATLAB as I believe today, biology needs an engineering approach to achieve its goals. My ultimate goal is utilizing my knowledge for the development of a new and more refined way of cancer diagnosis and therapy.

Furthermore, during my master studies I learned and applied various laboratory techniques such as PCR-based methods, mammalian cell culture and cloning and I am confident in my practical skills. Although, after graduation duo to living and working in a small town I didn’t have the opportunity to join a laboratory and promote my research background, to better qualify myself for Ph.D. Study, I joined several workshops, participated in some congresses and regularly enrolled in edX Courses.
In addition, I can say that in the laboratory I was independent in solving problems- usually I tried to find the answers by searching on net and especially ResearchGate. During my studies I also worked as vice-principal, principal and biology teacher at several schools and as a result I developed strong leadership and communication skills.

Thank you for taking the time to review my credentials, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Re: Please kindly correct this new motivation letter

shapol46 said:

I am writing to express my interest in your XYZ PhD position. [STRIKE]"xxxx".[/STRIKE]
My intellectual curiosity about cells is what led me to pursue my bachelor's in Cell & molecular Biology and my master's in Molecular Genetics. During my bachelor's degree, after participating in some seminars about cancer biology and also because of the increasing [STRIKE]rate[/STRIKE] incidence of this disease in my hometown, I decided to work on cancer for my master’s thesis. However, although I was accepted in one of the top universities in my country, unfortunately, because of the lack of research facilities, I could not follow my subject of interest. [STRIKE]my aim could not be realized.[/STRIKE] Hence, based on my supervisor’s suggestion and my keenness on helping improve diagnosis prospects and cure diseases in which genetics play a role, I decided to work on [STRIKE]an[/STRIKE] the autoimmune disease [STRIKE]called[/STRIKE] xxx, which gave me a strong background about immune system function, and it reinforced my interest in pursuing [STRIKE]higher education to study about[/STRIKE] research into the role of the immune system in the metastasis process.

I would like to mention that a few years ago after reading an article called “xxxx”, I [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] became interested in [STRIKE]studying[/STRIKE] learning about bioinformatics, omics techniques, and their significance. Therefore, I tried to analyze missense single-nucleotide polymorphisms in two different genes [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] to find [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] the most effective ones in changing the protein products [STRIKE]which are[/STRIKE] related to autoimmune diseases, and I published the results in two international congresses. So I am familiar with some bioinformatics tools and now I am learning R programming and systems biology and I plan to learn MATLAB as I believe today, biology needs an engineering approach for researchers to achieve [STRIKE]its[/STRIKE] their goals. My ultimate goal is to utilize [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] my knowledge [STRIKE]for the[/STRIKE] to develop [STRIKE]ment of[/STRIKE] a new and more refined way of cancer diagnosis and therapy.

Furthermore, during my master's studies, I learned and applied various laboratory techniques such as PCR-based methods, mammalian cell culture and cloning, and I am confident in my practical skills. [STRIKE]Although, after graduation duo to[/STRIKE] After I completed my PhD, because I was living and working in a small town, I didn’t have the opportunity to join a laboratory and [STRIKE]promote[/STRIKE] continue my research. [STRIKE]background, to better qualify myself for Ph.D. Study,[/STRIKE] However, I joined several workshops, participated in some congresses and regularly enrolled in edX courses.

In addition, I can say that in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] my previous laboratory research, I [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] worked independently to find solutions to various problems. [STRIKE]in solving problems-[/STRIKE] I usually tried to find the answers by searching on the Internet and especially using ResearchGate. During my studies I also worked as vice-principal, principal and biology teacher at several schools and as a result, I developed strong leadership and communication skills.

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