Weather swings

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alexpen

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Hello!

I wonder if you would have a look at this piece of writing - actually, I want to voice it on a Youtube video about summer wardrobe essentials:


One thing you need to know about our weather and our summer, in particular, is that we, here, live in a climate of extremes, of sharp weather swings. We do not typically have smooth transitions between the seasons. There are days, even weeks when the elements seem to be at odds: the sun blazing, the wind blustering. In a recent week, for instance, after a spell of oppressive heat, well over 30 degrees Celsius, we suddenly dropped below 20 and then went back up again. Another thing I would like to pinpoint is that, when all comes around, there is very little mellow summer weather with temperatures keeping in the 22-25 degrees’ range when you can put off all but one layer and really enjoy a warm, sunny day. In the middle of all our meteorological diversity, there is very little room for sporting your most basic long-sleeved shirts, blouses, dresses... Unless you put an extra layer for coldish weather, which is normal in spring and autumn. While, when it turns for summer, the sun starts glaring and the heat sets in quickly. Then you want nothing on your arms, for sure...


I have set the places where I have been a bit creative with wordings in purple - I would like opinions on them: especially, if something does not read - or flow - well in English. Any other suggestions are also welcome, of course.
 

Tarheel

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Rather than pinpoint say point out. Rather than turns for summet say heats up. Rather than the sun starts glaring say heats up.

Um, "when all comes around"?
 

teechar

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Hello!

I wonder if you would have a look at this piece of writing - actually, I want to voice it on a YouTube video about summer wardrobe essentials:

One thing you need to know about our weather and our summer, in particular, is that we [STRIKE] , here, [/STRIKE] live in a climate of extremes, of sharp weather swings. We do not typically have smooth transitions between the seasons. There are days, even weeks, when the elements seem to be at odds: the sun blazing, the wind blustering. [STRIKE] In a recent week, [/STRIKE] For instance, recently after a spell of oppressive heat of well over 30 degrees Celsius, [STRIKE] we [/STRIKE] the temperature suddenly dropped below 20 and then went back up again. Another thing I would like to [STRIKE] pinpoint [/STRIKE] point out is that, [STRIKE] when all comes around, [/STRIKE] more often than not, [STRIKE] there is [/STRIKE] we get very little [STRIKE] mellow [/STRIKE] reliable summer weather with temperatures [STRIKE] keeping [/STRIKE] in the 22-25 degrees’ range when you can put off all but one layer and really enjoy a warm, sunny day. [STRIKE] In the middle of all [/STRIKE] Therefore, given our meteorological diversity, there is [STRIKE] very little room [/STRIKE] scant opportunity for sporting your [STRIKE] most basic [/STRIKE] light long-sleeved shirts, blouses, and dresses unless you put an extra layer to keep you warm, [STRIKE] for coldish weather, [/STRIKE] which is normal in spring and autumn. [STRIKE] While, when it turns for [/STRIKE] However, in summer, the sun [STRIKE] starts [/STRIKE] is glaring and the heat sets in quickly. Then you want nothing on your arms, for sure.

I have [STRIKE] set [/STRIKE] highlighted the [STRIKE] places [/STRIKE] parts where I have been a bit creative with my wording in purple - I would like your opinions on them, especially if something does not read - or flow - well in English. Any other suggestions are also welcome, of course.
.
 

alexpen

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Wow! Is this some kind of robot?

I see seven or eight typos (corrected) that I did not make :-o

Not to mention some lack of logic...
 
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alexpen

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Rather than pinpoint say point out
Ok.

Rather than turns for summet say heats up. Rather than the sun starts glaring say heats up. "?
What about weather turns for summer? I do not want to use heat up twice.


Um, "when all comes around"?
= "all in all", " when things come around" - no?
 

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Use "heats up" once. Say: "when summer comes".
 

Tarheel

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The sun doesn't stare, and the sun doesn't glare. (Except in poetry.)
 

alexpen

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I understand. Summer may come in May - I wanted to show that I meant the weather, not the time frame.
 

alexpen

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The sun doesn't stare, and the sun doesn't glare. (Except in poetry.)
:)

I've just checked the Merriam-Webster online, and the first definition it supplies is:

to shine with a harsh uncomfortably brilliant light

Synonymous with "blaze", which I also use.
 

Tarheel

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Tarheel

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Everything depends on context. It always does.
 

alexpen

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Yes, I see that. But blazing is fine, right?
 

teechar

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Wow! Is this some kind of robot?

I see seven or eight typos (corrected) that I did not make. :-o

Not to mention some lack of logic.
What do you mean?
 

Tarheel

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alexpen

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Yes, you can certainly be outside in the blazing sun.

But being outside in the glaring sun is kind of funny. Do I get right?
 

teechar

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Why do you set - or highlight ;-) - some of my [STRIKE]letters[/STRIKE] words in red?
I do that to show you suggested edits and corrections to grammar, capitalization, spelling and punctuation.
 

Tarheel

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alexpen

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I do that to show you the suggested edits and corrections to grammar, capitalization, spelling and punctuation.

No, I mean "letters": characters, symbols of alphabet, graphemes :-D

PS) You forgot to strike through set, btw. The previous time you suggested to edit it out, in favour of highlight, I suppose.
 
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