have a problem in academic IELTS writing

Status
Not open for further replies.

santonica

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Egypt
Firstly, I wanna thank all the administration staff for their work and all the participants in making it so easy just to connect and communicate.
I have a serious problem in writing. In fact, I have made the IELTS exam 6 times one was general and made the nedded score and 5 times academic. every time , i get 5.5 band in writing however i can not recognize the problem or the defect.last time my score was quiet perfect except writing. I need overall band of 6.5 at least and only 6 minimum in every part.
i got 7 listening, 7 reading , 6.5 speaking and 5.5 writing .
according to these scores any recommendations to improve the writing ???
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Firstly, I wanna thank all the administration staff for their work and all the participants in making it so easy just to connect and communicate.
I have a serious problem in writing. In fact, I have made the IELTS exam 6 times one was general and made the nedded score and 5 times academic. every time , i get 5.5 band in writing however i can not recognize the problem or the defect.last time my score was quiet perfect except writing. I need overall band of 6.5 at least and only 6 minimum in every part.
i got 7 listening, 7 reading , 6.5 speaking and 5.5 writing .
according to these scores any recommendations to improve the writing ???

Do you write the same way in your IELTS exam as you wrote in this post?
 

santonica

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Egypt
Do you write the same way in your IELTS exam as you wrote in this post?

No,in the exam, I generally tend to be cautious about punctuations and grammatical points.
Although, your notice reminds me of my intension to write very long sentences ever. So, is this may be the only reason to get such score ?
 
Last edited:

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Firstly, I [STRIKE]wanna[/STRIKE] want to thank all the administration staff for their work and all the participants [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] for making it so easy just to connect and communicate.

I have a serious problem [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] when writing. In fact, I have [STRIKE]made[/STRIKE] taken the IELTS exam [STRIKE]6[/STRIKE] six times - one was general and [STRIKE]made[/STRIKE] I got the [STRIKE]nedded[/STRIKE] score I needed and [STRIKE]5[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]times[/STRIKE] five were academic. [STRIKE]every[/STRIKE] Each time, I [STRIKE]get[/STRIKE] got a 5.5 band in writing. However, I [STRIKE]can not[/STRIKE] cannot [STRIKE]recognize[/STRIKE] work out the problems or the [STRIKE]defect[/STRIKE] errors. Last time, my score was [STRIKE]quiet[/STRIKE] quite perfect except in the writing section. I need an overall band of at least 6.5 [STRIKE]at least[/STRIKE] and [STRIKE]only[/STRIKE] a minimum of 6 [STRIKE]minimum[/STRIKE] in [STRIKE]every[/STRIKE] each part.

I got a 7 for listening, a 7 for reading, a 6.5 for speaking and a 5.5 for writing.

[STRIKE]according to[/STRIKE] Based on these scores, do you have any recommendations to improve [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] my writing? [STRIKE]???[/STRIKE]

Without actually seeing a sample of writing you have done for the IELTS, it is difficult to say where you are going wrong. If you look at the corrections I have made to your post above, you will see where the errors were in that piece but you said you usually pay more attention in your tests.

You can write practice pieces and post them in the Editing and Writing Topics section of this forum and then see if people make some corrections. Note that that section does not get quite as much attention as this section but it is the correct place to post such pieces. Do not make the pieces too long - the length of this post is about the longest we have time to deal with as we all do this in our free time.
 

Barb_D

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Also, please make sure you say "This is a practice writing example to help me improve" so you can avoid the questions about whether it's a piece being turned in to a teacher.
 

santonica

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Egypt
Without actually seeing a sample of writing you have done for the IELTS, it is difficult to say where you are going wrong. If you look at the corrections I have made to your post above, you will see where the errors were in that piece but you said you usually pay more attention in your tests.

You can write practice pieces and post them in the Editing and Writing Topics section of this forum and then see if people make some corrections. Note that that section does not get quite as much attention as this section but it is the correct place to post such pieces. Do not make the pieces too long - the length of this post is about the longest we have time to deal with as we all do this in our free time.

Thank you so much.When I read your corrections, you simply, raised my souls. In fact, I am very impressed that simplicity is needed in my writing. Also, simple writing has better taste than complicated one.
Please correct me if any mistakes were found in my posts.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Thank you so much. When I read your corrections, [STRIKE]you[/STRIKE] it simply (no comma required here) [STRIKE]raised[/STRIKE] lifted my [STRIKE]souls[/STRIKE] soul. In fact, I am very impressed that simplicity is needed in my writing. Also, simple writing [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] is better [STRIKE]taste[/STRIKE] than complicated [STRIKE]one[/STRIKE] writing.
Please correct [STRIKE]me if[/STRIKE] any mistakes [STRIKE]were found[/STRIKE] [which] you find in my posts.

Simple sentences are good but if they are too simple they might not show that you understand how to use more complicated grammar and vocabulary. Note my amendments to your post. Generally (if you believe in that sort of thing), people have only one soul. It might have been better to say "it lifted my spirits".
 

Live English

Banned
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Hindi
Home Country
India
Current Location
India
Take care of tenses, subject-verb agreement and prepositions. These are the mistakes most students make.

Advertisement link deleted by moderator.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

santonica

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Egypt
I will post some writing tasks I have made. From the previous corrections,I have learned some points.However, I believe that my ideas also in tasks need improvement. So, are there any techniques to develop them ?
I tried to read an English newspapers like the guardian and the economist but, I did not understand most idioms. In other words, I feel the style of writing is relatively different from what is needed in IELTS.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
I will post some writing tasks I have made. From the previous corrections, I have learned some points. However, I believe that my ideas [strike]also[/strike] in tasks also need improvement. So, are there any techniques to develop them?

I tried to read an English newspapers like The Guardian and The Economist but (no comma required here) I did not understand most of the idioms. In other words, I feel the style of writing is relatively different from what is needed in IELTS.

Would you have trouble coming up with ideas for the task in your own language or only when you try to come up with ideas in English? You're right that newspaper writing is not really the kind of writing you will need (unless the task is to write a newspaper article) but reading a variety of English writing will still help you with vocabulary and to recognise grammar structures.
 

Tdol

No Longer With Us (RIP)
Staff member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
Japan
I will post some writing tasks I have made. From the previous corrections,I have learned some points.However, I believe that my ideas also in tasks need improvement. So, are there any techniques to develop them ?
I tried to read an English newspapers like the guardian and the economist but, I did not understand most idioms. In other words, I feel the style of writing is relatively different from what is needed in IELTS.

What academic reading do you do?
 

santonica

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Egypt
What academic reading do you do?

I do not read so much. May be that is why I have insufficient ideas about the IELTS topics as well as the topics I read are not related to what I need. I usually read political journal articles and economic reports.
Although,I see the recent IELTS exams tend to be focused on topics like that unlike it was before.Academic writing before was more related to health.environment and education than now.
 

Tdol

No Longer With Us (RIP)
Staff member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
Japan
Try posting a sample up here to look at.
 

santonica

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Egypt
Try posting a sample up here to look at.



OK.This is one sample I posted in the editing section a week ago but no one commented. I would be much appreciated if you would estimate me with the band score.


Experimental science is one type of many fields that has been evolved in the recent years.This justified by the large amount of experiments that have been carried on animals.
Firstly, performing some types of experiments was essential especially those that related to drugs.This is because, without those trials,pharmacists may not be able to identify enough information about drugs and its variable effects.To realize how this trend is really serious, we have to get back to the mids of the last century, when a pharmacist invented "Thalidomide", a new drug preventing vomiting in pregnants.However, this drug was evolutionary in its effect, it caused thousand cases that were born with permanent deformity.That is why, today licensing a new drug requires ten years or more of research and multiple trials on animals.
The previous argument is not completely true, as not all experiments are such dangerous if not tried firstly on animals. Like injection with previously known toxic substances.
In some west countries, scientists tried to innovate or replace such trials to carry it on toys and robots but unfortunately, the consequences were not as seen in animals.This is due to the fact,that robots neither toys have feelings and genes to be close to human beings.
In my opinion, i can stand that such type of trials should be first approved by an ethical committee that includes multiple experts in this field, to assess if there is a need to include mammals,birds or reptiles in it and at the same time to ensure protection the rights of animals as possible.
Moreover, with the fact that, it is unappropriate to perform this on human beings or any thing else,legislation and law is enough to gurantee this.
 

santonica

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Egypt
I tried to post it now but my request denied.
 

Tdol

No Longer With Us (RIP)
Staff member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
Japan
Experimental science is one type of many fields that has been evolved in the recent years.
What point is being made here? I don't know the exact wording, but this gets the piece off to a weak start. It is vague and doesn't say much. So many areas of life *have evolved* in recent years- is this a point worth making? What has the reader learned by the end of the first sentence, which is one of the most important? I would drop the idea of introductions like this and get to the point. A general framing sentence is usually more of a distraction IMO, especially when you don't have that much space or time as in the exam.

The first paragraph brings in Thalidomide, though the situation with it was more complex than this, but it could have been a relevant point. However, you then begin the next paragraph by saying that the main paragraph is not completely true, which is weakening your own argument- you wrote it, so why isn't it true? Can you write your view with clarity in a single sentence? It's hard to see exactly what you want to say at times.

Do you make plans? I'd try to condense the points you want to make into short, clear sentences before starting and make sure you get those across.
 

Tdol

No Longer With Us (RIP)
Staff member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
Japan
I tried to post it now but my request denied.

You cannot post links until you have posted ten times- it's to stop spammers and advertisers. When you clicked the reply with quote option, it uses a link.
 

santonica

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Egypt
So,lack of clarity is a weak point that i have to improve.Also,poor planning is another feature that requires some effort.Can you please guide me how to plan for writing an essay ?
Is it just a process of linking relevant words.For example, when write about education, we write about schools,students,teachers,syllabus, curriculum,maths and minds.
Thank you for help.
 

Barb_D

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Remember that you have to have a space after your punctuation mark and that the pronoun "I" is always capitalized. It is very hard for me to look past these types of mistakes to the content of what you write.

No, you do not simply link related words. You have to have a plan.

It is important to properly test drugs before they are used widely to make sure they don't cause harm.
-- Give an example.

Scientists use animals to make sure things are safe for humans. (I'm pretty sure they have never tested drugs on robots!) This is good for the humans, but bad for the animals.

When animal testing is necessary, humans have a responsibilty to be humane - to ensure the test is needed, that it will lead to useful results, and that the experiments will cause as little pain and suffering as possible.


You have to come up with your three main ideas first (mine are just suggestions), and then figure out how to build your story.
 

santonica

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Egypt
Current Location
Egypt
Thank you for help. In fact I have other options than IELTS but writing rules are almost the same in all English language exams. So, I see that with a little effort, I will get the score. What do you think ?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top