[Essay] Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

rodgers white · Feb 13, 2017

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Dear Tom,

I’m excited to hear that you will come to China to spend the Chinese New Year’s Eve together with us. My family expects your arrival so much. I am glad to tell you the arrangements during your stay in Beijing in advance.

I will meet you at four o’clock on the afternoon of February 18[SUP]th[/SUP] at the Northwest Exit of Zhongguancun Station of Subway Line 4. After you arrive, we will have various traditional activities, such as watching the Spring Festival Gala, making dumplings, and setting off firecrackers, all of which will let you enjoy the happy atmosphere of the festival.

Looking forward to seeing you soon!

Yours,
Li Hua

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The above is a kind of writing practice for my students. It presumes that your British friend Tom will come to your home spending the Chinese New Year’s Eve together. You are going to send an email to inform him of relating information. The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after checking their work. I hope someone would check it and help perfect it. Many thanks in advance.

emsr2d2 · Feb 13, 2017

rodgers white said:
Dear Tom,

I’m excited to hear that [STRIKE]you will come[/STRIKE] you're coming to China to spend [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] Chinese New Year’s Eve [STRIKE]together[/STRIKE] with us. My family [STRIKE]expects[/STRIKE] is looking forward to your arrival so much. [STRIKE]I am glad to tell you the arrangements during your stay in Beijing in advance.[/STRIKE] Here's the plan!

I will meet you at [STRIKE]four o’clock on the afternoon[/STRIKE] 4pm [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] on February 18[SUP]th[/SUP] at the northwest exit of Zhongguancun Station, [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] Subway Line 4. [STRIKE]After[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]you arrive[/STRIKE] Later, we will [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] take part in various traditional activities, such as watching the Spring Festival Gala, making dumplings, and setting off firecrackers, all of which will [STRIKE]let[/STRIKE] help you enjoy the happy atmosphere of the festival.

Looking forward to seeing you soon!

Yours,
Li Hua

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The above is a kind of writing practice for my students. It presumes that your British friend Tom will come to your home spending the Chinese New Year’s Eve together. You are going to send an email to inform him of relating information. The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after checking their work. I hope someone would check it and help perfect it. Many thanks in advance.

See above. If the letter is from one friend to another, it would probably be less formal than your original. I realise this is a writing exercise but let me give you an example of how I would write it to a friend:

Hi Jane

I'm so excited that you're coming to stay with us for Chinese New Year! We're really looking forward to it. Here's the plan - I'll pick you up at 4pm at the XXX exit of subway Line 4. We'll drop your luggage at the house and then go out and have fun - we can watch the Spring Festival Gala, make dumplings, set off firecrackers - you'll love it!

See you on Feb 18th!

rodgers white · Feb 13, 2017

emsr2d2 said:
See above. If the letter is from one friend to another, it would probably be less formal than your original. I realise this is a writing exercise but let me give you an example of how I would write it to a friend:

Hi Jane

I'm so excited that you're coming to stay with us for Chinese New Year! We're really looking forward to it. Here's the plan - I'll pick you up at 4pm at the XXX exit of subway Line 4. We'll drop your luggage at the house and then go out and have fun - we can watch the Spring Festival Gala, make dumplings, set off firecrackers - you'll love it!

See you on Feb 18th!

Thank you so much for your help. It is very considerate of you to give me an example, which definitely makes it easier for me to understand how to write a letter to my friends. After checking my students' work, I will post one of my correction work. I hope you can offer me some advice on it.

emsr2d2 · Feb 13, 2017

rodgers white said:
Thank you so much for your help. It is very considerate of you to give me an example, which definitely makes it easier for me to understand how to write a letter to my friends. After checking my students' work, I will post one of their letters with my corrections. [strike]work.[/strike] I hope you can offer me some advice on it.

Yes, we will be able to help you with that.

rodgers white · Feb 14, 2017

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Dear Tom

I’m excited to hear that you will come to China to spend the Chinese New Year’s Eve. My family will give you a warm welcome when you arrive at my house. By the way, I intend to pick you up at the subway station on the 4 p.m. February 18[SUP]th[/SUP]. It’s the northwest entrance at the Zhong Guancun station where I will wait for me.
In the evening, we will arrange some traditional chinese activities such as eating dumping and watch the Spring Festival Show.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours,
Li Hua

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The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work. Please check the following and help me further improve it. The word limit is around 80. Many thanks in advance.

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Dear Tom,

I’m excited to hear that you're coming to China to spend Chinese New Year’s Eve. My family is looking forward to your stay with us. Here’s the plan. I will pick you up at 4 p.m. on February 18[SUP]th[/SUP] at the northwest exit of Zhongguancun station, Subway Line 4.
In the evening, we will arrange some traditional Chinese activities such as eating dumpings，watching the Spring Festival Gala and setting off fireworks.
I’m looking forward to seeing you.
Yours,
Li Hua
******************************

teechar · Feb 14, 2017

The letter in post #5 is very similar to the versions above. How can that be if it was written by a completely different person (one of your students)?

rodgers white · Feb 15, 2017

teechar said:
The letter in post #5 is very similar to the versions above. How can that be if it was written by a completely different person (one of your students)?

Teechar, my friend, I'm sorry for my carelessness and thank you very much for your concern. You are careful and responsible at your work. The compositions that I assign for my students' writing practice often provide some key information in Chinese such as the activities they had for fun for this one, which will certainly make it easier for my students to write. Also, the first sentence is usually given. Of course, students are allowed to use their own first sentences and add some other contents themselves as long as they write their work within 100 words. Unfortunately, there are few students who actually want to try this. So, I always encourage them to have a try.

teechar · Feb 15, 2017

rodgers white said:
*****************************
Dear Tom,

I’m excited to hear that you will come to China to spend [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] Chinese New Year’s Eve with us. My family will give you a warm welcome when you arrive at my house. By the way, I intend to pick you up at the subway station [STRIKE]on the[/STRIKE] at 4 p.m. on February 18[SUP]th[/SUP]. [STRIKE]It’s[/STRIKE] I'll be waiting for you at the northwest entrance [STRIKE]at the[/STRIKE] of Zhong Guancun Station. [STRIKE]where I will wait for me.[/STRIKE]

In the evening, we will [STRIKE]arrange[/STRIKE] do some traditional Chinese things [STRIKE]activities[/STRIKE] such as eating dumplings and watching the Spring Festival Show.

I'm looking forward to your visit. [STRIKE]hearing from you.[/STRIKE]

Yours,

Li Hua

*****************************

The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work. Please check the following and help me further improve it. The word limit is around 80 [You should be specific with your word limits.] . Many thanks in advance.

******************************
Dear Tom,

I'm excited to hear that you're coming to China to spend Chinese New Year’s Eve. My family is looking forward to your stay with us. Here’s the plan. I will pick you up at 4 p.m. on February 18[SUP]th[/SUP] at the northwest exit of Zhongguancun station, Subway Line 4.
In the evening, we will arrange some traditional Chinese activities such as eating dumplings，watching the Spring Festival Gala and setting off fireworks.

I’m looking forward to seeing you.

Yours,

Li Hua

******************************

Take a look at meaning #4 of "dump" as a noun in the link below.

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/dump

Do you see what "eating dumpings" can imply and why it's, therefore, important to pay attention to spelling? Try to convey that to your students.

rodgers white · Feb 15, 2017

teechar said:
Take a look at meaning #4 of "dump" as a noun in the link below.

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/dump

Do you see what "eating dumpings" can imply and why it's, therefore, important to pay attention to spelling? Try to convey that to your students.

I really appreciate your help，and I'm so sorry for my carelessness. I thought I had already paid enough attention on my grammar, spelling and punctuation when posting my threads. However, now I have realized that I need to be more careful through the lesson you taught me. Thank you again for everything you have done for me, teechar, my friend.

[Essay] Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

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