FCE Article: Is using computers better than watching television?

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Zorjay

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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hi, can you correct my article for the fce exam? Besides the grammatical errors, can you also tell me whether I completely answered the question or not?
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Thanks in advance.
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Question
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]You have seen the following announcement in an international magazine for 16-25 year olds:
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]'Young people are spending more time each day on their computers than watching television. Is this a change for the better?'[/FONT][/FONT]We are interested in your views on this topic. You can contribute to the debate by sending us a short article with your opinion.​
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Write your article for the magazine[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] (around 120-180 words).



Why are young people more addicted to use their computers than to watch television?
It may be a matter of choice: they cannot choose the time of broadcast of their favourite television programmes, whereas, on the computer, they can watch whatever they want whenever they like. Otherwise the answer we are looking for might be the simple fact that they are bored of the advertisements.

Besides this, the Internet allows people to contact their friends at any time through social networks, forums and so on: it is, therefore, a means of entertainment greater than television.

At any rate, there is one thing they two have in common: from the point of view of the culture and information, none of them can be completely trusted. On one hand media exceed in telling the news, on the other hand on the net anyone is free to type or modify information.

To sum up, it is impossible to say whether using a computer is better than watching television: it is only a subjective matter of people preferences.
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Gillnetter

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Hi, can you correct my article for the fce exam? Besides the grammatical errors, can you also tell me whether I completely answered the question or not?

Thanks in advance.



Question
You have seen the following announcement in an international magazine for 16-25 year olds:


'Young people are spending more time each day on their computers than watching television. Is this a change for the better?'We are interested in your views on this topic. You can contribute to the debate by sending us a short article with your opinion.​
Write your article for the magazine (around 120-180 words).



Why are young people more addicted to use their computers than to watch television?
It may be a matter of choice: they cannot choose the time of broadcast of their favourite television programmes, whereas, on the computer, they can watch whatever they want whenever they like. Otherwise the answer we are looking for might be the simple fact that they are bored of the advertisements.

Besides this, the Internet allows people to contact their friends at any time through social networks, forums and so on: it is, therefore, a means of entertainment greater than television.

At any rate, there is one thing they two have in common: from the point of view of the culture and information, none of them can be completely trusted. On one hand media exceed in telling the news, on the other hand on the net anyone is free to type or modify information.

To sum up, it is impossible to say whether using a computer is better than watching television: it is only a subjective matter of people preferences.
No one completely answers this kind of question. What you did do was to sway away from whether using computers is better than watching television and wrote about why some people use computers.
 

Zorjay

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Student or Learner
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well, I just wrote what came up in my mind and I couldn't imagine to answer differently, that's why I was in doubt :) thanks, anyway :) If anyone has time and want to correct it, they're welcome ! :)
 
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