help me please thanks!

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mer24

New member
Joined
May 5, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Spanish
Home Country
Spain
Current Location
Spain
it is correct?


Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you concerning the study grants advertisement, which I saw in Monday’s issue “The Guardian” and I would apply for a grant to study English in one of your schools this summer.

The reason why I am interested in this English course is because I am keen to improve my English and would like the opportunity to practice my English with native speakers. And I am considering studying my degree in UK when I finish the school.

I need this grant because I can’t afford to study in UK. In my family we are 6 siblings and this could be my opportunity to study abroad and learn about the British culture and the way of life there. It would be better for me if I could be in your London school as I have my aunt living there.

I am available for interview at any time and look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully
Mercedes
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
it is correct?


Dear Sir or Madam,

[STRIKE]I am writing to you concerning [/STRIKE] This is in response to the Study Grants advertisement [STRIKE], which I saw [/STRIKE] in Monday’s issue of “The Guardian” and [STRIKE] I would apply [/STRIKE] my interest in applying for a grant to study English in one of your schools this summer.

[STRIKE] The reason why I am interested [/STRIKE] My interest in this English course is because I [STRIKE] am keen [/STRIKE] want to improve my current level of English and would like the opportunity to practice my English [STRIKE] with [/STRIKE] among native speakers. [STRIKE] And [/STRIKE] Furthermore, I am considering studying for my degree in the UK when I would finish the school.

I need this grant because I can’t afford at this time to study in UK. [STRIKE] In my family we are [/STRIKE] I am one of six siblings [STRIKE] 6 siblings [/STRIKE] and this could be my only opportunity to study abroad and learn about the British culture and the way of life there. [STRIKE] It would be better for me if I could be in [/STRIKE] My living expenses would be reduced by attending your London school as I have my aunt living there.

I am available for an interview at any time and look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully
Mercedes

Suggestions.
 
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