[Cover Letter] Please correct my cover letter

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huynguyen158

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Hi teachers,

Could you please help me correct this cover letter? Thank you very much!:-D
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Dear Hiring Manager,

As a highly motivated and dedicated student with strong problem solving skill and the willingness to learn, I would like to apply for the PHP Fresher Program.

Although I just nearly graduate from university, I still have knowledge in programming, especially web development through years of studying as well as the fact that I have been educating myself with necessary knowledge in this field.

These experiences have allowed me to developed strong problem solving and organizational skills, which I see as being very important when seeking to work in IT employment while continuing to study.

Personal attributes that I believe make me suitable for this position include:

- Motivation: Teach myself PHP, MySQL, Javascript and other related skills demonstrate high motivation.
- Problem-solving: Build a whole website using all the knowledge I have learnt on my own.

During my time at the university, I also had opportunities to work with others and help them out where possible. I enjoy working with others and believe that my skills will ensure that I can meet the expectations of this role.

I am aware that you will receive a large number of applications for this program, but I would very much appreciate the opportunity to demonstrate my capabilities to you in person.

Attached is a copy of my resume that further explains my background and technical skills. I can be reached anytime via my cell phone,... or via email at... Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to speaking with you more about this opportunity.

Best Regards,
 

teechar

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Dear Hiring Manager,

As a highly motivated and dedicated student with strong problem-solving skills and the willingness to learn, I would like to apply for the PHP Fresher Program. [Are you sure that name is correct?]

Although I just nearly graduate [What does that mean?] from university, I still have knowledge in programming, especially web development through years of studying as well as the fact that I have been educating myself with necessary knowledge in this field.

These experiences have allowed me to develop [STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] strong [STRIKE]problem solving[/STRIKE] analytical and organizational skills, which I see as being very important when seeking to work in IT [STRIKE]employment[/STRIKE] while continuing to study.

My personal attributes that I believe make me suitable for this position include:

- Motivation: I have taught [STRIKE]Teach[/STRIKE] myself PHP, MySQL, Javascript and other related technologies. [STRIKE]skills demonstrate high motivation.[/STRIKE]
- Problem-solving: [STRIKE]Build a whole[/STRIKE] I designed and built an entire website using [STRIKE]all the[/STRIKE] knowledge I [STRIKE]have learnt[/STRIKE] acquired on my own.

During my time at [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] university, I [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] had opportunities to work with others on several team projects. I always did my best to contribute to the success of the team's work. [STRIKE]and help them out where possible.[/STRIKE] I enjoy working with others and believe that my skills will ensure that I can [STRIKE]meet the expectations of[/STRIKE] succeed in this role.

I am aware that you will receive a large number of applications for this program, but I would very much appreciate the opportunity to demonstrate my capabilities to you in person.

Attached is a copy of my resume that further explains my background and technical skills. I can be reached anytime via my cell phone,... or via email at...

Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to speaking with you more about this opportunity.

[STRIKE] Best Regards,[/STRIKE]

Yours faithfully,

Huy Nguyen
Can you not say a little more about your suitability for this particular (PHP) job?
 

huynguyen158

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Hi, teechar. Thank you very much for your help!:-D
[Are you sure that name is correct?]
Yes. Maybe the term is not totally correct but I see it is used a lot when it comes to job interview to mean 'beginner at any given topic'. Here is the definition from Quora:

fresher = Fresh out of Education, with No Experience.

So if I want to express that way, which word would be the correct one?

[What does that mean?]
I should have said I haven't graduated yet. Do you think it's clearer?


Can you not say a little more about your suitability for this particular (PHP) job?
So you mean it's better not to mention too much about suitability? But I thought it's important to describe why a candidate would be suitable for the particular job in the cover letter? I'm a little confused.
 
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teechar

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English Teacher
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Hi, teechar. Thank you very much for your help!:-D
Yes. Maybe the term is not totally correct but I see it is used a lot when it comes to job interview to mean 'beginner at any given topic'. Here is the definition from Quora:
fresher = Fresh out of Education, with No Experience.
So if I want to express that way, which word would be the correct one?
No. Just use the exact name of the course.

I should have said I haven't graduated yet. Do you think it's clearer?
Although I haven't yet graduated, my knowledge in programming is solid, especially in web development. This is the result of years of formal study as well as the fact that I have been teaching myself various concepts and technologies in this field.

So you mean it's better not to mention too much about suitability? But I thought it's important to describe why a candidate would be suitable for the particular job in the cover letter? I'm a little confused.
No! I meant the exact opposite! :shock: I was suggesting that you write more.
 
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