A complain

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javierm5

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Hi, I have written a formal email to my English teacher to make a complaint. I'm not sure if I have made any grammatical mistakes, or if the email can be better expressed or more formal (I want it to be as formal as possible). Can you check it? Thanks a lot!


Dear Ms Grau,
I am writing to complain about school schedule, which I am currently studying at second A levels in Juan Manuel Zafra.

I am in scientific and technological second A levels, and I could explain you this email on behalf of all students in the course. I think we have too many hours for each subject, and if we had less hours of school, we would have more efficiency, such as the document I have attached says. Spain is the country with more school hours and the worst academic results.
Moreover, this year is very hard and stressful, and since we have an exam every day, I can not sleep the hours I need enough at my age. So as I told you, we should not spend so much time on study, and I would be grateful if you could let us start classes at 10 a.m.
Finally, due to which I explained you before, we do not have time for rest, so I wonder if you would convince the teachers for relax the number of exams and homework that they order.

Many thanks for kindly considering my requests; I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely, Javier Moreno Sepena
 
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emsr2d2

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Hi, I [STRIKE]made[/STRIKE] have written a formal email to my English teacher [STRIKE]for a complaining[/STRIKE] to make a complaint. [STRIKE]an englush teacher head, and[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]im[/STRIKE] I'm not sure if I have made any grammatical mistakes, or if the email can be better expressed or more formal (I want [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]most[/STRIKE] it to be as formal as possible). Can you check it? Thanks a lot!

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Please look at the multiple corrections I had to make to your opening paragraph. It is important to follow these rules of written English at all times:

- Start every sentence with a capital letter.
- End every sentence with a single, appropriate punctuation mark.
- Always capitalise the word "I" (first person singular).

Many of your errors were simply careless typos. Take more care with your typing.
 

javierm5

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Hi! Thank you for correct my presentation, I have edited it. But, can you help me with the Formal email? I will be very grateful, thanks!
 

emsr2d2

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Hi! Thank you for correcting my presentation. I have edited it. But (no comma here) can you help me with the ​formal email? I will be very grateful, thanks!

Dear Ms Grau,

[STRIKE]which[/STRIKE] I am currently studying at second (I don't know what this means. I've never heard of a "second" A Level) A levels in Juan Manuel Zafra (is that the name of the school?). I am writing to complain about my current school schedule.

I am [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] studying scientific and technological (those aren't the names of subjects) second (same point as I made in paragraph 1) A levels, and I [STRIKE]could[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]explain[/STRIKE] am sending you this email on behalf of all the students [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] on the course. I think we have too many hours study for each subject [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] - if we had [STRIKE]less[/STRIKE] fewer hours of school, we would [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] be more [STRIKE]efficiency[/STRIKE] efficient. [STRIKE]such as[/STRIKE] This is explained in the attached document. [STRIKE]I have attached says.[/STRIKE] Spain [STRIKE]is the country with more[/STRIKE] has the highest number of school hours and the worst academic results.

[STRIKE]Moreover[/STRIKE] This year is very hard and stressful. [STRIKE]and since[/STRIKE] We have an exam every day and I [STRIKE]can not[/STRIKE] cannot get the amount of sleep [STRIKE]the hours[/STRIKE] I need [STRIKE]enough[/STRIKE] at my age. [STRIKE]So as I told you,[/STRIKE] To reiterate, we should not spend so much time on study, and I would be grateful if you could [STRIKE]let us[/STRIKE] agree to start classes at 10 a.m.

Finally, [STRIKE]due to which[/STRIKE] as I explained [STRIKE]you[/STRIKE] before, we do not have time [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] to rest, so I wonder if you would convince the teachers [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] to [STRIKE]relax[/STRIKE] reduce the number of exams and the amount of homework that they [STRIKE]order[/STRIKE] give us.

[STRIKE]Many[/STRIKE] Thanks for [STRIKE]kindly[/STRIKE] considering my requests; I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely, Javier Moreno Sepena

See above. As I have made clear, I have no idea what "second A Levels" are. In the UK, we have AS Levels (1 year's duration) and A Levels (2 years' duration). You need to give the names of the subjects you are actually studying.

I don't know how the school system works in Spain for people of your age, but is it really possible for someone to completely change the school hours? I'm sure all kids (and probably most adults) would like their day to start at 10am instead of earlier but it really isn't practical.

I assume that there is indeed a full explanation of how you would be more efficient in the document you mention (I deleted the link as most people aren't willing to open external links).
 

javierm5

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See above. As I have made clear, I have no idea what "second A Levels" are. In the UK, we have AS Levels (1 year's duration) and A Levels (2 years' duration). You need to give the names of the subjects you are actually studying.

I don't know how the school system works in Spain for people of your age, but is it really possible for someone to completely change the school hours? I'm sure all kids (and probably most adults) would like their day to start at 10am instead of earlier but it really isn't practical.

I assume that there is indeed a full explanation of how you would be more efficient in the document you mention (I deleted the link as most people aren't willing to open external links).

After the second obligatory studies, exists an 2 years course pre-university, callled "Bachillerato". I was refering to the second year of Bachillerato.
The document I mentioned is the link I attached.
Thanks a lot!
 

emsr2d2

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So you're taking the Baccalaureate, not A Levels?
 
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