Two whichs in a row, how to improve it?

NewHopeR · Apr 20, 2012

The existence of the hormone lowers the metabolism of TAG in which Y acid is rich, the result of which is that TAG doubles in blood .

Of course, the second which above refers to The existence of the hormone lowers the metabolism of TAG in which Y acid is rich. I'm not sure whether the usage of two whichs would make native English speakers understand it at the first sight.

And even if they get it crystal clear, using two whichs in a row would be somewhat boring. But how to edit and improve it?

5jj · Apr 20, 2012

I'd be more concerned about the meaning of "TAG doubles in blood".

emsr2d2 · Apr 20, 2012

NewHopeR said:
... lowers the metabolism of TAG in which Y acid is rich ...

Does the first part, which I have left above, mean "... lowers the metabolism of TAG, which is rich in Y acid"?
By that I mean "Is there a lot of Y acid in TAG?"

NewHopeR · Apr 20, 2012

emsr2d2 said:
Does the first part, which I have left above, mean "... lowers the metabolism of TAG, which is rich in Y acid"?
By that I mean "Is there a lot of Y acid in TAG?"

"There is a lot of Y acid in TAG" is correct. "In which", not "which".

NewHopeR · Apr 20, 2012

5jj said:
I'd be more concerned about the meaning of "TAG doubles in blood".

It refers to "the amount of TAG in blood is doubled in blood."

5jj · Apr 20, 2012

NewHopeR said:
It refers to "the amount of TAG in blood is doubled in blood."

Then it would be clearer as "the amount of TAG in (the) blood doubles". Whether or not 'the' is necessary depends on what has gone before, and on whether a specific amount of blood is being referred to.

Two whichs in a row, how to improve it?

NewHopeR

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