Please help me correct the following e-mail, many thanks!

Status
Not open for further replies.

chowbarry

Junior Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
I have to write an e-mail to a contracting cleansing company to complaint against their substandard cleansing services. Please help me correct the following drafted e-mail, many thanks!

Dear Mr. Pearson,

I would like to draw your attention to irregularities of your cleansing services recently found by our staff at the 15th floor of Sunlight Building on 15.04.2016. As expected, your overhaul cleansing team comprising of 6 cleansing workers were scheduled to perform cleansing duties at the above building on 15.04.2016, but only one worker of the team, who was surprisingly found knitting by our staff, at there and when asked whereabouts of the other workers, she claimed that they were having their lunch at that moment. Our staff immediately phoned to Mr. Johnson, the team supervisor, about the case, but he couldn't be reached. After a while, Mr. Johnson returned a call to our staff, stating that the missing workers had gone to changing room. Our staff told Mr. Johnson that the workers were reported to have gone for their lunch while only one worker was at the workplace and all the workers were found failing to clock in. Mr. Johnson explained to our staff that all the workers had already clocked in the 14th floor of Sunlight Building instead and their working hours would be deferred by a half hour, changing to 0800-1430 while 30 minutes in between were their paid lunch time. However, the explanation of Mr. Johnson appeared not to be valid as our staff found the working time of the workers recorded in the 15th floor of Sunlight Building was 0800 - 1400 instead of 0800-1430 stated by Mr. Johnson, which reflected an unexpected shortage of cleansing workers for 30 minutes.

With the above case heavily ruining our provision of quality cleansing services to our business clients, I trust you should take prompt action to look into the case and make appropriate deduction from our monthly cleansing payment arising from the unreported absence of cleansing workers provision. Please provide us with your findings of the case by 06.05.2016 so that we can make further arrangement.

Best Regards,
CB
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
I have to write an e-mail to a [STRIKE]contracting[/STRIKE] contract [STRIKE]cleansing[/STRIKE] cleaning company to [strike]complaint[/strike] complain [STRIKE]against[/STRIKE] about their substandard [STRIKE]cleansing[/STRIKE] cleaning services. Please help me correct the following [STRIKE]drafted[/STRIKE] draft e-mail. Many thanks!

Dear Mr. Pearson,

I would like to draw your attention to irregularities [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] in your [STRIKE]cleansing[/STRIKE] cleaning services, recently [STRIKE]found[/STRIKE] discovered by our staff on 15/4/16 [STRIKE]at[/STRIKE] on the 15th floor of the Sunlight Building. [STRIKE]on 15.04.2016. [/STRIKE]

[STRIKE]As expected,[/STRIKE] Your "overhaul [STRIKE]cleansing[/STRIKE] cleaning team", comprising [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] 6 [STRIKE]cleansing workers[/STRIKE] cleaners, [STRIKE]were[/STRIKE] was scheduled to perform [STRIKE]cleansing[/STRIKE] cleaning duties at the above building on 15.04.2016 (no comma required here) but only one worker [STRIKE]of the team[/STRIKE], who was surprisingly found knitting by our staff, [STRIKE]at there[/STRIKE] attended. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] When asked about the whereabouts of the other workers, she claimed that they were having their lunch. [STRIKE]at that moment.[/STRIKE]

Our staff immediately [STRIKE]phoned[/STRIKE] tried to phone [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] Mr. Johnson, the team supervisor, about the case, but he couldn't be reached. After a while, Mr. Johnson returned the call [STRIKE]to our staff[/STRIKE], stating that the missing workers had gone to changing room. Our staff member told Mr. Johnson that the workers were reported to have gone for their lunch while only one worker was at the workplace and [STRIKE]all[/STRIKE] the rest of the workers [STRIKE]were found failing[/STRIKE] had failed to clock in. Mr. Johnson explained [STRIKE]to our staff[/STRIKE] that all the workers had already clocked in on the 14th floor of Sunlight Building instead and their working hours would be [STRIKE]deferred[/STRIKE] changed by [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] half an hour, changing to 0800-1430, [STRIKE]while[/STRIKE] with a [STRIKE]30 minutes[/STRIKE] 30-minute break for lunch. [STRIKE]in between were their paid lunch time.[/STRIKE]

[STRIKE]However, the[/STRIKE] Mr Johnson's explanation [STRIKE]of Mr. Johnson[/STRIKE] appeared not to be [STRIKE]valid[/STRIKE] true as our staff found that the working time of the [STRIKE]workers[/STRIKE] team was recorded [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] on the 15th floor of Sunlight Building [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] as 0800 - 1400 instead of 0800-1430 as stated by Mr. Johnson. [STRIKE]which[/STRIKE] This [STRIKE]reflected[/STRIKE] resulted in [STRIKE]an unexpected shortage[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]of cleansing workers[/STRIKE] in a shortfall [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] of 30 minutes.

[STRIKE]With the above case heavily ruining our provision of quality cleansing services[/STRIKE] This situation has caused a huge problem [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] for our business clients. I trust you [STRIKE]should[/STRIKE] will take prompt action to look into the case and make the appropriate deduction from our monthly [STRIKE]cleansing[/STRIKE] cleaning [STRIKE]payment[/STRIKE] bill. [STRIKE]arising from the unreported absence of cleansing workers provision.[/STRIKE]

Please [STRIKE]provide us with your findings of the case[/STRIKE] get back to us by 06.05.2016 so that we can make [STRIKE]further[/STRIKE] arrangements for the payment of the revised bill.

[STRIKE]Best Regards,[/STRIKE] Yours sincerely,
CB

See above.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top