Corect choice of pronoun and verbs

1. It's you who are/is to blame.

2. It' he/ him who is/are to blame.

(a) Which verb should I use in the first sentence?

(b) Which pronoun and verb should I use in the second sentence?

Thanks.

1. It's you who are/is to blame.

2. It' he/ him who is/are to blame.

Let me attempt before a member answers my questions.

For #1, I would say "It's you who are to blame.' One of my friends told me that it should be "It's you who is to blame." That makes me wonder.

For #2, I would say "It's he who is to blame." But my friend say it should b "It's him who is to blame." That also puzzles me.

I remember being taught my versions. My friend claims I am wrong.

Now I am in a maze.

I would appreciate it if someone could help me out. Thanks.

Tan Elaine said:

1. It's you who are/is to blame.

2. It' he/ him who is/are to blame.

Let me attempt before a member answers my questions.

For #1, I would say "It's you who are to blame.' One of my friends told me that it should be "It's you who is to blame." That makes me wonder.
No, you are right.
For #2, I would say "It's he who is to blame." But my friend say it should b "It's him who is to blame." That also puzzles me.
I would avoid this problem with "He is the one to blame" But again, you are right.
I remember being taught my versions. My friend claims I am wrong.
You should trust your memory more, and your friends less.
Now I am in a maze.

I would appreciate it if someone could help me out. Thanks.

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Tan Elaine, you've been coming here for as long as I have, and I'm sure you've been told the answer to these questions before. You admit as much. You should almost be at a level where you can answer these questions for others rather than asking them - especially now that you have adopted British English as your native language.

If you have enough friends, it is certain that some of them will be wrong about many things. But if you have learnt what is correct English, and you have grammar books and notes (from here or elsewhere) you should not need to keep asking for reassurance when someone disagrees with you. English is not changing that rapidly.

Many thanks, Raymott.

Now I can tell my friend what you have advised me. I can show him/her whatever I read in books. And I will stop listening to them when they say the books are prescriptive and not what a native speaker would say.

You would certainly hear "It's him." So "It's him who is to blame" would also be heard. That's what sounds natural to me. I know it's "wrong" because you should use the subjective form of the pronoun.

SoothingDave said:

You would certainly hear "It's him." So "It's him who is to blame" would also be heard. That's what sounds natural to me. I know it's "wrong" because you should use the subjective form of the pronoun.

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Thanks, SoothingDave. Your reply got me out of the labyrinth. No wonder my friend 'corrected' me.

A school of English in Poland advertises their Training Courses System called "Me and my English Child".

The use of the pronoun caught my attention and later while looking for answers I descried your thread. After the perusal of all the posts I come to this conclusion:

In formal situations one should follow the dictates of grammar and expect the dictates of grammar to be followed by others.

In informal situations one should follow one's instincts (tricky for a non-native) and look the other way when others decide to use objective rather than subjective pronouns.

Now, what's formal and informal?

An advert by a school of English belongs to formal for me.

A native English acquintance saying or writing "Me and John are going to the cinema tomorrow" belongs to informal and were I to try to correct them, I would make a pompous a...hole of myself.

Can someone correct me please?

The correctness or otherwise of the name of that English school training course in Poland depends on what they actually want to say.

If they mean a contraction of "Me and my English child [can can take this training course]" then it's wrong and should be "My English child and I"

However, if what they had in mind was "[A training course for] me and my English child" then it's fine.

JarekSteliga said:

A school of English in Poland advertises their Training Courses System called "Me and my English Child".

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The phrase "Me and my English Child" is correct, given that it's not in a context. No doubt they mean something like "A course suitable for me and my English child"; "A course about me and my English child." The phrase is only wrong if it's used as the subject of a sentence.

The full context is as follows:

System szkoleń dla Rodziców „Me & My English Kid”.

which translates into English:

A system of training courses for parents "Me & My English Kid".


I understand that whoever wrote this should enjoy the benefit of the doubt. However I would personally opt for "I & My English Kid"

JarekSteliga said:

The full context is as follows:

System szkoleń dla Rodziców „Me & My English Kid”.

which translates into English:

A system of training courses for parents "Me & My English Kid".


I understand that whoever wrote this should enjoy the benefit of the doubt. However I would personally opt for "I & My English Kid"

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And that would be not as good, because as a subject, we would say "My English kid and I". So your suggested course title, is not even routinely used in any context.
Also, you've changed "child" to "kid", which is makes it even less attractive.

Raymott said:

And that would be not as good, because as a subject, we would say "My English kid and I". So your suggested course title, is not even routinely used in any context.
Also, you've changed "child" to "kid", which is makes it even less attractive.

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These nuances are beyond my grasp. Fortunately there are tons of less intricate things out there for me to learn :roll:

Who IS to blame?
It is he.
He IS to blame.
Who IS to blame?
You are.
You are to blame.
It is you, who IS to blame.

The subject* is WHO, so the verb remains IS.

*WHO is the subject of the relative clause. "It is you" is a complete clause with or without the relative clause. The relative clause must be grammatical in itself "who is to blame."

Typically, you don't hear a problem when people say: It's you, who's to blame.
In writing, however, the conflicting structure should be avoided as a previous respondent mentioned. "You are the one to blame."

lcaplan said:

*WHO is the subject of the relative clause. "It is you" is a complete clause with or without the relative clause. The relative clause must be grammatical in itself "who is to blame."

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That's one opinion. There are others, as we have seen in this thread, and as you can see here:
I who am/is to blame - UsingEnglish.com ESL Forum
you who are/is / I who am/is - UsingEnglish.com ESL Forum
relative clause - UsingEnglish.com ESL Forum