kbb83
New member
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2011
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- English
- Home Country
- Canada
- Current Location
- Canada
Please proofread my essay and rate it between 1-4. 4=Effective 3=Adequate 2=Marginal 1=Ineffective Thank you.
Prompt : People have become more health conscious in the past few years. More people seem to be exercising regularly and watching what they eat.
Discussion Question : What are some ways that you can help yourself to become healthier or maintain your own good health?
Essay:
I don’t consider myself to be very healthy. Three ways I could improve my health are to stop smoking, eat healthier and exercise, and see a physician regularly.
Smoking is a deadly habit and it causes many problems with my health. I started smoking at around the age of twelve and I have now smoked for fifteen years. As I got older I began to smoke more and more. I now smoke about twenty-five cigarettes a day. I’ve tried to quit before and I think it’s time I try again.
Eating healthy and exercising is challenging for me. I eat a lot of fatty foods and I don’t exercise every day. I often realize the benefits of both a healthy diet and frequent exercise; I just don’t make the time. There are lots of small steps I can take; I just have to buckle down.
Going to a physician regularly can save your life, especially as you get older. I don’t currently see a physician and I know I should be. I think it’s important to have regular checkups and/or tests on your body. For me I think it’s just as simple as picking up the phone; I’ve just been putting it off.
In summary, three ways I could improve my health are to stop smoking, eat healthier and exercise and to go to a physician regularly.
Prompt : People have become more health conscious in the past few years. More people seem to be exercising regularly and watching what they eat.
Discussion Question : What are some ways that you can help yourself to become healthier or maintain your own good health?
Essay:
I don’t consider myself to be very healthy. Three ways I could improve my health are to stop smoking, eat healthier and exercise, and see a physician regularly.
Smoking is a deadly habit and it causes many problems with my health. I started smoking at around the age of twelve and I have now smoked for fifteen years. As I got older I began to smoke more and more. I now smoke about twenty-five cigarettes a day. I’ve tried to quit before and I think it’s time I try again.
Eating healthy and exercising is challenging for me. I eat a lot of fatty foods and I don’t exercise every day. I often realize the benefits of both a healthy diet and frequent exercise; I just don’t make the time. There are lots of small steps I can take; I just have to buckle down.
Going to a physician regularly can save your life, especially as you get older. I don’t currently see a physician and I know I should be. I think it’s important to have regular checkups and/or tests on your body. For me I think it’s just as simple as picking up the phone; I’ve just been putting it off.
In summary, three ways I could improve my health are to stop smoking, eat healthier and exercise and to go to a physician regularly.
