Should all teenagers be forced to do unpaid jobs

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dcintel

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Would you please help me correct the following writing for grammars, vocabularies, ...
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Most people believe that it should be compulsory for young people to help the local community through voluntary work in their pastime. However, I do not completely agree with this statement.

From a personal perspective, it can be argued that teenagers are under high pressure with their studies so it will result in the lack of their opportunity to have spare time. Most young people may not only attend classes at school every day but also do homework and study with tutors at home. Therefore, if they are required to spend their whole free time to help local community, they may not have any time to entertain with their friend and even with their family or attend courses to improve their soft skills.

On the societal level, by forcing young people to work on volunteer basis in their free time, society will not gain any beneficial value. Firstly, it may be not fair for teenagers to sacrifice their time to do what they seem not to volunteer. Secondly, young people may not feel comfortable to be forced to do volunteer but they feel that they are being used. For example, children are required to collect all rubbish surrounding their living area on every weekend and they may have to take their all free time to do this, they will think they are being treated like a cleaner. A good society which has the best system should be a free and fair place

In conclusion, doing voluntary work to help community can be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole. However, I believe that we should not make this compulsory.
 
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emsr2d2

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Would you please help me by correcting the following piece of writing [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] with regard to [STRIKE]grammars, vocabularies, ...[/STRIKE] grammar and vocabulary?

Please note my corrections above.

When do you have to submit your essay to your teacher/tutor to be marked or graded?
 

teechar

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Would you please help me [Strike]correct[/Strike] check the following writing [Strike]for[/Strike] and correct any grammar or vocabulary mistakes you find?
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[Strike]Most[/Strike] Some people believe that it should be compulsory for young people to help the local community through voluntary work in their [Strike]pas[/Strike] free time. However, I do not completely agree with this statement.

From a personal perspective, [Strike]it can be argued[/Strike] I can confirm that teenagers are under high pressure with their studies, [Strike]so it will result in the lack of their opportunity to[/Strike] which means they inevitably have little spare time. Most young people [Strike]may [/Strike] not only need to attend classes at school every day, but they must also do homework and possibly study with tutors at home. Therefore, if they are required to spend their [Strike]whole[/Strike] free time to help the local community, they may not have any time to [Strike]entertain[/Strike] to relax and enjoy leisure activities with their friend and [Strike]even[/Strike] with their family or even attend courses to improve their soft skills.

On the societal level, by forcing young people to work on [Strike]volunteer[/Strike] voluntary basis in their free time, society will not gain any particular benefit. [Strike]beneficial value.[/Strike] Firstly, it may be not fair for teenagers to sacrifice their time to do what they seem not to volunteer. [ This seems out of place in this paragraph. The paragraph is about society, not the individual teenagers] Secondly, young people may not feel comfortable [Strike]to be forced[/Strike] if compelled to [Strike]do[/Strike] volunteer [Strike]but they[/Strike] and may feel that they are being used. For example, if children are required to collect [Strike]all[/Strike] rubbish [Strike]surrounding their living area on[/Strike] in their neighbourhood every weekend and [Strike]they may have to[/Strike] if that takes all their [Strike]all[/Strike] free time, [Strike]to do this,[/Strike] they will think they are being used. [Strike]treated like a cleaner.[/Strike] A good society which has the best system should be a free and fair place [ I have no idea what that means]

In conclusion, doing voluntary work to help one's community can be beneficial for both the young individual and society as a whole. However, I believe that we should not make this compulsory.

This reply was cross-posted. I take it that dcintel is preparing for some kind of test like IELTS of TOEFL; am I correct?
 

Tarheel

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How many forums have you posted this to?
 

dcintel

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Please note my corrections above.

When do you have to submit your essay to your teacher/tutor to be marked or graded?

Thanks for your correction. I am just practicing writing an essay, not for marking purpose :)
 

dcintel

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This reply was cross-posted. I take it that dcintel is preparing for some kind of test like IELTS of TOEFL; am I correct?
Thanks for your correction. It's correct. I am preparing for IELTS test.
 

dcintel

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How many forums have you posted this to?
I just came across this forum. It's so useful. I will post my next writing here and please help me to correct it. Before coming here, I just posted this in another forum.
 

emsr2d2

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Thank you for letting us know that this is just for practice. We recommend that you post to just one forum, wait for responses and only then, if you are not satisfied with those responses, post on a second forum, providing a link to the first and explaining why you need more help.
 

dcintel

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Thank you for letting us know that this is just for practice. We recommend that you post to just one forum, wait for responses and only then, if you are not satisfied with those responses, post on a second forum, providing a link to the first and explaining why you need more help.

Thanks so much. I will
 

Tarheel

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