[Essay] Please help me correct this essay

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huynguyen158

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Hi teachers,

I am preparing for the IELTS exam and this is my personal practice. Could you please help me check it? Thank you very much.

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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It is true that climate change has been producing adverse effects on human life over the past decades, raising many controversial questions on how people should confront it. Although the idea of adaptability appears reasonable, this cannot be viewed as an ultimate approach for humankind to address the issue.

Despite the increasing difficulties in combating climate change, there are still a number of workable solutions that can be implemented. First, government need to establish strict policies aimed at reducing human-induced emissions of greenhouse gases, which have contributed substantially to global warming. For example, regulations on reducing deforestation as well as promoting renewable sources of energy will play a significant role in the battle against climate change. Second, every individual can do a small part to influence the big environmental picture through a whole host of practices such as switching to green power like solar panels or relying upon public transportation. If everyone could make such small changes, the impact would become considerable as a whole.

Another reason is that climate change is a constant process, not something that has been ended. Therefore, if people decided to stop taking action on climate change, they will have to suffer from serious consequences in the long term. For example, sea level rise associated with global warming has been displacing tens of millions of people in low-lying areas, especially in developing countries. In addition, living species have also been affected by the rise of temperatures and will be in danger of extinction if the warming trend continues at its current rate. It should be noted that the loss is irreversible and affects not only the biodiversity but also humans themselves.

In conclusion, fighting global warming must be given top priory due to its negative impacts. Governments and individuals should take steps to prevent climate change before it becomes insurmountable.
 

teechar

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[STRIKE]It is true that[/STRIKE] Climate change is a major issue facing all mankind, [STRIKE]has been producing adverse effects on human life over the past decades, raising many controversial questions on[/STRIKE] and several approaches have been suggested as to how people should confront it. Although some advocate the controversial idea of simply adapting to climate change, [STRIKE]ability appears reasonable,[/STRIKE] this cannot be viewed as [STRIKE]an ultimate approach for humankind[/STRIKE] an effective solution to this very real and pressing [STRIKE]address the[/STRIKE] issue.

Despite the [STRIKE]increasing difficulties in combating[/STRIKE] enormous challenges involved in dealing with climate change, there are still a number of workable solutions that can be implemented. First, governments need to establish strict policies aimed at reducing human-induced greenhouse gas emissions, [STRIKE]of greenhouse gases,[/STRIKE] which [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] contribute substantially to global warming. [STRIKE]For example,[/STRIKE] In addition, regulations on reducing deforestation as well as promoting renewable sources of energy will play a significant role in the battle against climate change. [STRIKE]Second,[/STRIKE] In fact, every individual [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] needs to do their bit [STRIKE]a small part[/STRIKE] to influence the big environmental picture through a whole host of practices such as switching to green power like solar energy [STRIKE]panels[/STRIKE] or [STRIKE]relying upon[/STRIKE] using public transportation. If everyone could make [STRIKE]such[/STRIKE] even modest contributions, [STRIKE]small changes,[/STRIKE] the accumulative impact would be [STRIKE]come[/STRIKE] considerable. [STRIKE]as a whole.[/STRIKE]

Another [STRIKE]reason[/STRIKE] point to consider is that climate change is an ongoing [STRIKE]constant[/STRIKE] process, not something that has a finite end point. [STRIKE]been ended.[/STRIKE] Therefore, adapting to climate change is highly impractical if not impossible. If people decided to stop taking action on climate change, they would [STRIKE]will have to[/STRIKE] suffer [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] serious consequences in the long term. For example, the rise in sea levels [STRIKE]rise[/STRIKE] associated with global warming has [STRIKE]been displacing[/STRIKE] led to the displacement of tens of millions of people in low-lying areas, especially in developing countries. In addition, living species have also been affected by the rise [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] in temperatures and many are in grave [STRIKE]will be in[/STRIKE] danger or have already gone extinct. The adaptability approach implies that population displacement and species extinction is something we should simply accept. In my opinion, that is not a solution.[STRIKE]of extinction if the warming trend continues at its current rate. It should be noted that the loss is irreversible and affects not only the biodiversity but also humans themselves.[/STRIKE]

In conclusion, fighting global warming must be given top priory due to its immensely negative impacts. Governments and individuals should take steps to [STRIKE]prevent[/STRIKE] stop climate change before it becomes insurmountable.
.
 

huynguyen158

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Hi teechar,

I really appreciate your help. But I still have some questions, could you please help me? Thank you!

teechar; said:
Although some advocate the controversial idea of simply adapting to climate change
If I used "adaptability" instead of "simply adapting to climate change", would there be any differences? Or is "adapting" just used to emphasize?

teechar; said:
this cannot be viewed as [STRIKE]an ultimate approach for humankind[/STRIKE]an effective solution to this very real and pressing [STRIKE]address the[/STRIKE] issue.
I'm quite confused. Why can't I say:
" this cannot be viewed as an ultimate approach to address the issue"?
I guess maybe because "ultimate approach" is unnatural, isn't it?

teechar; said:
In fact, every individual [STRIKE]can [/STRIKE]needs to do their bit
I think share or part is more appropriate, bit might be a little informal.

teechar; said:
First, governments need to establish strict policies aimed at reducing human-induced greenhouse gas emissions,[STRIKE] of greenhouse gases, [/STRIKE]which [STRIKE]have [/STRIKE]contribute substantially to global warming. [STRIKE]For example, [/STRIKE]In addition, regulations on reducing deforestation as well as promoting renewable sources of energy will play a significant role in the battle against climate change.
Could you please tell me why I cannot use "regulations on reducing..." as an example? I intended to use it to support the idea "governments need to establish strict policies...". I see "regulations" as parts of "policies" here.
 

teechar

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If I used "adaptability" instead of "simply adapting to climate change", would there be any differences? Or is "adapting" just used to emphasize the point?
Yes, my version is more emphatic.

I'm quite confused. Why can't I say:
" this cannot be viewed as an ultimate approach to address the issue"?
I guess maybe because "ultimate approach" is unnatural, isn't it?
That's right; "an ultimate approach" is unnatural.

I think share or part is more appropriate, bit might be a little informal.
It's actually a set expression in English, and I think it's okay to use in the above context. However, "part" or "share" would work too.

Could you please tell me why I cannot use "regulations on reducing..." as an example? I intended to use it to support the idea "governments need to establish strict policies...". I see "regulations" as parts of "policies" here.
You can. I see your point now.
 
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