Hi Friends and Teachers,
I am currently writing a cover letter and not sure if I am using the correct grammar. The sentence is as following:
[FONT="]Having worked as both a volunteer for IRS Volunteer Income Tax Assistance Program, an private math tutor in addition to also taking on a full set of courses, I maintained a high grade point average.
My friend said to me that the logic and grammar are both wrong in the above sentence. And he corrected it as:
[/FONT] [FONT="]I worked both as a volunteer for [/FONT][FONT="]IRS Volunteer Income Tax Assistance Program, an private math tutor[FONT="], while also taking a full set of courses, and maintained a high grade point average. [/FONT]
I want to emphasis during that particular semester, I had done a lot of different things, but still maintained a very good GPA. I feel like my friend's sentence doesn't emphasis that and it is a little bit wordy.
Can you please give me some advice and help me to rephrase the whole sentence?
Thanks,
Nikki[/FONT]
I am currently writing a cover letter and not sure if I am using the correct grammar. The sentence is as following:
[FONT="]Having worked as both a volunteer for IRS Volunteer Income Tax Assistance Program, an private math tutor in addition to also taking on a full set of courses, I maintained a high grade point average.
My friend said to me that the logic and grammar are both wrong in the above sentence. And he corrected it as:
[/FONT] [FONT="]I worked both as a volunteer for [/FONT][FONT="]IRS Volunteer Income Tax Assistance Program, an private math tutor[FONT="], while also taking a full set of courses, and maintained a high grade point average. [/FONT]
I want to emphasis during that particular semester, I had done a lot of different things, but still maintained a very good GPA. I feel like my friend's sentence doesn't emphasis that and it is a little bit wordy.
Can you please give me some advice and help me to rephrase the whole sentence?
Thanks,
Nikki[/FONT]
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