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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Ukrainian
      • Home Country:
      • Ukraine
      • Current Location:
      • Ukraine

    • Join Date: Jul 2007
    • Posts: 13
    #1

    sentence

    Dear teachers,
    Could you please help me to choose the better variant of the sentence or suggest your own one?

    "If these traits are lacking, not every ATCO student becomes a real air traffic controller who can stand high psychological pressure and physical exertion, and feel satisfied with the work well done after a routine exhausting shift when you are forecasting and modelling in every detail the development of changeable situations to achieve the best results."

    or

    "If these traits are lacking, not every ATCO student becomes a real air traffic controller who can stand high psychological pressure and physical exertion, and after a routine exhausting shift when you are forecasting and modelling in every detail the development of changeable situations to achieve the best results, feel satisfied with the work well done."
    Thank you.

  1. csheywood's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Romania

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 136
    #2

    Re: sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by Finika View Post
    Dear teachers,
    Could you please help me to choose the better variant of the sentence or suggest your own one?

    "If these traits are lacking, not every ATCO student becomes a real air traffic controller who can stand high psychological pressure and physical exertion, and feel satisfied with the work well done after a routine exhausting shift, when you are forecasting and modelling in every detail the development of changeable situations to achieve the best results."

    or

    "If these traits are lacking, not every ATCO student becomes a real air traffic controller who can stand high psychological pressure and physical exertion, and after a routine exhausting shift, when you are forecasting and modelling in every detail the development of changeable situations to achieve the best results, feel satisfied with the work well done."
    Thank you.
    I think the first one is easier to follow. I struck out the 'when you are' because we can use the reduced clause.

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