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  1. Unregistered
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    #1

    Talking love you and leave you

    My boyfriend lives in england we had a big fight and we did not talk to each other for a few months now we are talking to each other on social terms each time he is to say goodbye he say 'I am going to love you and leave you" Please explain I dont understand

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: love you and leave you

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    My boyfriend lives in england we had a big fight and we did not talk to each other for a few months now we are talking to each other on social terms each time he is to say goodbye he say 'I am going to love you and leave you" Please explain I dont understand
    He has loved you; now he is leaving you.
    Once it's all done, he has "loved you and left you".
    But now, since it's not over, he uses the future tense 'I am going to love you and leave you'

    On a less grammatical note, he's trying to get rid of you. It's time to look for someone else.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: love you and leave you

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    My boyfriend lives in england we had a big fight and we did not talk to each other for a few months now we are talking to each other on social terms each time he is to say goodbye he say 'I am going to love you and leave you" Please explain I dont understand
    This idiom, as with so many others, doesn't mean what it actually says! It simply means "I'm going to say goodbye now".

    It doesn't have connotations of romantic love, nor that someone is leaving a relationship.

    For as long as I can remember, many members of my family have used this phrase at the end of phone conversations, after meeting up for a chat, or even after spending whole weekends together.

    I don't know the origin of the phrase (and Google hasn't helped!) but it's simply used to mean "Right, I'm off now. Bye!"

  4. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: love you and leave you

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    This idiom, as with so many others, doesn't mean what it actually says! It simply means "I'm going to say goodbye now".

    It doesn't have connotations of romantic love, nor that someone is leaving a relationship.

    For as long as I can remember, many members of my family have used this phrase at the end of phone conversations, after meeting up for a chat, or even after spending whole weekends together.

    I don't know the origin of the phrase (and Google hasn't helped!) but it's simply used to mean "Right, I'm off now. Bye!"
    That would be my understanding of this idiom too.

  5. Raymott's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: love you and leave you

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    This idiom, as with so many others, doesn't mean what it actually says! It simply means "I'm going to say goodbye now".

    It doesn't have connotations of romantic love, nor that someone is leaving a relationship.

    For as long as I can remember, many members of my family have used this phrase at the end of phone conversations, after meeting up for a chat, or even after spending whole weekends together.

    I don't know the origin of the phrase (and Google hasn't helped!) but it's simply used to mean "Right, I'm off now. Bye!"
    Interesting. If you say that that's the way it's used in UK, and since the OP's boyfriend is in England, I suppose that's what he means.
    Now that I've done a little more research, I agree.

    I was basing my reply on contexts such as these:
    Tags: everything was perfect, he just disappeared, love me and leave me
    Go ahead love me and leave me ...I'd rather not... T-shirt from Zazzle.com

  6. BobK's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: love you and leave you

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    This idiom, as with so many others, doesn't mean what it actually says! It simply means "I'm going to say goodbye now".

    It doesn't have connotations of romantic love, nor that someone is leaving a relationship.

    For as long as I can remember, many members of my family have used this phrase at the end of phone conversations, after meeting up for a chat, or even after spending whole weekends together.

    I don't know the origin of the phrase (and Google hasn't helped!) but it's simply used to mean "Right, I'm off now. Bye!"
    That's my understanding too; I must add it to my growing list of alliterative idioms. I usually hear it in the form 'Well, I'm going to have to love you and leave you' - it's an apology for leaving, in spite of the fact (perhaps social fiction) that the speaker wants to stay. (I'm afraid I don't have time to follow Raymott's link right now, and I'm sure outside the UK there is - as he says - another interpretation).

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    #7

    Re: love you and leave you

    Is this idiom used in writing?

  7. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: love you and leave you

    Quote Originally Posted by svartnik View Post
    Is this idiom used in writing?
    I think it's a very BrE thing, if you were writing a dialogue between English characters, it could be appropriate, or maybe in closing a letter to an English friend.
    There is an Irish variation, 'I'm going to let you go now' implying that the person with whom you are talking must be fed up with your company and just waiting to get away, while you would prefer them to stay. Very much a social fiction in most cases.
    Last edited by bhaisahab; 31-Jul-2009 at 10:30.

  8. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: love you and leave you

    This is an interesting thread.

    In the US, at least where I've lived, if you said "He's a love-you-and-leave-you kind of guy" you would not mean he uses a happy, loving sign-off with his phone conversations. You mean he's going to "love you" (i.e., have sex with you, although there may be some genuine affecting in the course of it), and then leave you. He will not stick around and be your boyfriend afterwards.

    Certainly, if I was having a conversation with a family member and in a warm voice the person said something like "Well, hon, I'm gonna have to love you and leave you - dinner's about to boil over on the stove" I would understand it the way you describe above, but I can't say I've ever encountered that use.

    If I had never read this thread and my boyfriend said "I'm going to love you and leave you" I'd be tempted to say "Then let's not wait and let's just end it now" rather than waiting around for him to leave me. (In other words, my understanding would have been exactly the same as Ray's.)

  9. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: love you and leave you

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    This is an interesting thread.

    In the US, at least where I've lived, if you said "He's a love-you-and-leave-you kind of guy" you would not mean he uses a happy, loving sign-off with his phone conversations. You mean he's going to "love you" (i.e., have sex with you, although there may be some genuine affecting in the course of it), and then leave you. He will not stick around and be your boyfriend afterwards.

    Certainly, if I was having a conversation with a family member and in a warm voice the person said something like "Well, hon, I'm gonna have to love you and leave you - dinner's about to boil over on the stove" I would understand it the way you describe above, but I can't say I've ever encountered that use.

    If I had never read this thread and my boyfriend said "I'm going to love you and leave you" I'd be tempted to say "Then let's not wait and let's just end it now" rather than waiting around for him to leave me. (In other words, my understanding would have been exactly the same as Ray's.)
    Oh, I agree that if you were talking about a third party and described them as a "love-you-and-leave-you" guy, it would mean exactly that!! However, as far as the original example goes, this guy has been using the phrase every single time the two of them meet up, as a simple signing off phrase. If he had called her for an "important chat" and said "It's like this, I've loved you, now I'm going to leave you" then that would be the end of the relationship.

    However, as the OP says, they're now on speaking terms and he's just using the phrase to say goodbye. Maybe it's not widely used in the US, but in the UK, it would be readily understood to mean "Right, I'm off now. See ya!"

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