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    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 40
    #1

    Using Transitions and Connecting Words - PLEASE CORRECT MY SENTENCES

    • Every summer friends and I taking dancing classes for fun, although we are doing it for the purpose of loosing wait.



    • I am very tired; therefore I can not go swimming today.



    • Most of my family members are vegetarians, besides me.



    • Mom and I went golfing, meanwhile my brother stayed at home and playing video games.



    • Lately the City of Vancouver is very busy organizing the 2010 Olympic games, but other cities are helping as well.



    • Finally she got her results from University of British Columbia, so she will go ahead with the registration.



    • My goal to improve my writing skills, however I need to study hard and improve it.



    • After he turns twenty one, her beliefs in religious starting to crumble.



    • Our English teacher was astonished by James improvement on his reading, regardless his missing few classes for no important reasons.

  1. Raymott's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 24,103
    #2

    Re: Using Transitions and Connecting Words - PLEASE CORRECT MY SENTENCES

    Quote Originally Posted by lindalinda1228 View Post
    • Every summer friends and I take dancing classes for fun, although we are doing it for the purpose of losing weight.

    This sounds strange. it would be better as: Every summer friends and I take dancing classes for fun as well as for the purpose of losing weight.

    • I am very tired; therefore I can not go swimming today. OK



    • Most of my family members are vegetarians, besides me.

    I'd go with "apart from me", but "besides" is acceptable.

    • Mom and I went golfing, whilemy brother stayed at home and playing video games.

    No, "meanwhile" isn't a conjunction.
    You could write: Mom and I went golfing. Meanwhile my brother stayed at home and playing video games.


    • Lately the City of Vancouver is very busy organizing the 2010 Olympic games, but other cities are helping as well.

    Lately, the City of Vancouver has been very busy ...
    • Finally she got her results from University of British Columbia, so she will go ahead with the registration. OK



    • My goal is to improve my writing skills, however I need to study hard and to improve it them.

    Skills is plural. You are studying to improve your skills, not your goal.

    • After he turned twenty one, her beliefs in religion starting to crumble.

    he ... her ?

    • Our English teacher was astonished by James' improvement on his reading, regardless despite his missing a few classes for no important reasons.
    R.

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